If earning money was so important throughout the year, why is it never a common New Year's resolution?
Finding resolve for the next year involves taking a moment to reflect on our lives. And as we reminisce through our fortunes and regrets, what's superficial becomes less material.
For this New Year's, I've been taking a look back upon my life from a senior's perspective. After all my money has been made and my career has past, what are the events of the year that I would like to remember and what would be my resolution for the last of my years? I would be counting smiles and resolving a legacy.
Warren Buffett has said that "short-term decisions have long-term consequences." So to try and stand on the shoulder of giants, I'm learning to resolve decades rather than following years.
Goodbye 2008, I've spent the time learning so much. Rather than welcoming a new 2009, the days forward shall be welcoming a new me. No more spreading myself so thin. No more being comfortable. No more settling for complacent. I will do no less and be amongst the best at giving more.
About Those Resolutions...
Double Your Pleasure...
Wow! The level of talent that's performing at Kollaboration 9 is amazing. The songbirds are outstanding, the musicians are movingly melodic, and the dancers are high energy. And the eye-candy? Awwww jea jea...it's quite the good looking line up at the Shrine Auditorium.
The show is going to be on February 21, 2009. You know what that means? It's the best way to get over your Valentine's Day blues. Kollaboration 9 will help you forget the absence of roses and chocolates in your life. You'll feel like there might still be someone out there for you...and her name could be Yuri.
Merry X-mas!
It's a freaking sweet Christmas!
The only thing that has yet to be satisfied on my Christmas list is a one day snowboarding trip. It's been about three years since I've ripped through the slopes, and I certainly miss it. I miss hitting a rail...and then falling. I miss taking a jump...and then falling. I miss carving "S" shapes through the snow...and then falling. My body has been crackling and popping much less at the joints recently, but where's the rush?
Yea, yea...I've got good friends and family...whatever. I already thanked them on Thanksgiving. Bring the snow!
I miss the days when I used to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn and then drive up the windy mountain roads toward powder heaven. Red bull? Check. Granola Bars? Check. iPod? Check.
What I do NOT miss is the 40 min lines for the ski-lifts. Talk about awful. Regardless of my normal despise of waiting for anything, having to stand in line for nearly an hour just to board down a 10 minute slope is like taking red hot pokers to the pleasure center.
Anyways, the time has come to visit the slopes once again. We are getting some awesome snow, so I'll be looking forward to some good riding. w00t!
P.S. - My New Year's resolution will be trying to add some awesome to my writing...bigger, better, and faster in 2009.
It's Thanksgiving...Spank You Very Much...
Gobble gobble! <=it's the sweet sound of a turkey, and ironically an onomatopoeia for eating the turkey as well.
Thanksgiving is here! Arguably the bestest holiday ever, Thanksgiving officially marks the beginning of the holiday season. Gather your family and call your friends...let's not let the turkey holocaust be for nothing.
Are you ready? You know the conversation is going to come up - What are youuuu thankful for? If you struggle answering this question, or are tired of your lame and unoriginal thankful-izing, let's prep a list of thank-taculocity.
I'm thankful for...
1. A wife who's only flaw was marrying me. (awww...i'm gonna be sick)
2. A strong liver...because without 'em, I'd still be single and socially awkward. (honest honesty honestly is the best policy).
3. Your support as I pursue my dream of becoming a professional kazoo-ist. (dream big people...dream big)
4. Becoming an uncle. (finally, women will talk to me when I take the cutie to the park)
5. Getting rejected. (I might have never discovered my passion for organizing closets)
6. It NOT being Valentine's Day. (three months until I'm reminded of being lonely and undesirable)
7. Puppies. (no wisecracks. puppies are cute.)
8. Having a job. (don't tell the old lady that it's really my last two weeks)
9. Superheros. (what would movies be today with'em?)
10. You. (for all that I do through the year for the "us" and even just for you, I'm grateful for every moment we can break to say "I love you.") <=awww...gross.
You've gotta love the holidays. It's a time to be with friends and family. Happy Gobble Gobble with mucho gobbling!
Tales from Beyond 6th and Alexandria
Despite having plenty more stories of teenage stupidity to divulge from this particular city block, I bring to you evidence of stupid-o-city from beyond.
I grew up a wanderer. Name a place around the SoCal area, and I've likely wasted some of my life there. Playing pool (for more than mere bragging rights) was my thing, so I traveled all around for the hustle.
Along the way, I met plenty of dumb asses. There was a group of wanna-be gangsters around the GG area. What made them such wanna-be's? Prepare for stupid:
Give an idiot a gun and wait for the Darwin award.
These guys with brains like unbaked bread dough managed to get a hold of a shotgun. According to them, the shotgun was evil because they never knew when it would fire. It could be that the gun was defective, but it's more likely that they were just too dumb to know which end was safe to hold and which end went "bang bang." Nevertheless, guns have a phenomenal ability to grow testicles on a teenager where none existed before.
With the presumed broken shotgun in hand, the band of hooligans decided to rage chaos at the most popular billiard in Garden Grove. They scrambled around the entrance shouting nonsense. Mr. Macho with the defective weapon flailed it about - feeling secure that outsiders had no idea it'd never fire. He took a step forward, and with the barrel pointed at the ground, he pumped the shotgun. Bang! Yep...it turned out to be not-so-broken afterall. A round went off, the pellets bounced off the sidewalk and peppered him in the face. It was a Dick Cheney moment, but much less dignified.
He survived with only minor injuries. The optimist in me likes to imagine that he's walking the Earth slightly smarter about gun safety. Something like, "pull trigger...gun go bang...and i before e except after c..."
More stories to come? Some feedback would be nice...
Tales from 6th & Alexandria (pt. 2)
Let's see...what's an interesting story to share...
Well, I guess I'll go into the story of the masked gunman at 6th and Alexandria.
There was a billiard called "Players" that catered to nearly all the delinquent youths in the tri-city area. The tables were new, clean, and all of the cue-sticks were actually straight. For a pool hall junkie like me, it was a little slice of heaven apart from the usual hole in the wall billiards and three-legged tables. The people were young, came looking good, and most importantly...they played for money.
It was a recipe for disaster. Soon enough, people came in with chips on their shoulders and something hyper-masculine to prove. As we normal patrons played our normal games, some random guy came marching in the business waiving a handgun at people.
"Wassup! F@#$ you bitches! Sup now?!" he proclaimed with the bravery a firearm rewards.
Before he could target a single person to displace his rage over his absence of functioning testicles, a girl walked up to the masked aggressor and smirkishly asked "Henry?" (His exact name escapes me). She must have guessed his identity correctly because he darted out of the building like a child caught with his pants at the ankles, masturbating to the centerfolds of National Geographic. I can only imagine how red he was in the face under the fiendishly clever veil.
How did she know? By what ingenius means of deduction did this girl manage to uncover his secret identity? Elementary my dear Watson:
1. Don't be a regular customer of the place you're about to commit a crime
2. Change your clothes stupid
It's like he was going to his best friend's party and expecting to maintain anonymity by covering his eyes with dental floss. What an idiot. Did he seriously think that we would be so far distracted by the fabric on his head that no one would recall his voice, height, frame, clothes, and shoes? Maybe if he wore the Emperor's new clothes and draped on an extra invisibility cloak, he could have salvaged his dignity for the night.
Sure, one could think that it was the girl's modest popularity and sweet powers of deduction that saved a life that night. But then again, he was stupid. A puppy with a fluffy tail could have stolen his attention.
And again, this is just further proof of how stupid teenagers are. If there's still interest in exploits of my never-before-spoken past, maybe I'll keep these tales going.
Tales from 6th & Alexandria
Hmmm....I feel compelled to share a story...
When I was a teenager, 6th and Alexandria was the place to be. I've got tons of stories from around that intersection.
It was THE teenaged hotspot because there was a billiard, an arcade, cheap food, and everyone sold alcohol to minors. Ahhh...all of the sweet memories are coming back.
My friends were doing the usual weekend loitering. And just like the typical weekend, trouble started brewing. A group of rival teenagers with something equally trivial to prove flashed their gang signs. (In the wilds of the gangland, flashing your gang sign was an open challenge of another group's authority to waste their life pretending to own the public benches). The challenge was heard, and my friends hiked up their extra over-sized jeans to ready their attack.
As one side shouted profanities, the other side would return shouting louder. Insults were always thrown before sticks and stones. No one's mother was spared. It was the second stage of the gang-war ritual:
1. Flash your gang sign
2. Shout at each other from across the street
3. Shout louder until you grab the public's attention
4. Approach each other and continue shouting
5. Someone yells that the police are coming
6. Run away while managing to shout a few more profanities
Like all the other times, we made our way down the entire list.
Yet, after the rival gangsters retreated to their cars, they decided to drive THROUGH the crowd. One of my friends actually got hit. The car struck him under the waist. He was launched into the air like a rag doll, did two complete back-flips, and then smacked the pavement. The eye's of bystanders widened. Everyone was shocked. But before a single person could run to him offering help, he picked himself up and casually walked away with his hands in his pockets...just as if nothing happened. (Rumor has it, he whistled while he walked).
Conversations about him getting hit by a car and walking away as if he only stopped to pick up a nickel continued for years. The moment earned him prestige and acceptance into the somewhat smaller subgroup of friends that were also run over by cars. They would laugh about what they were doing before gangsters plowed them down. Competitions over who got struck at the highest speed were common. It was funny how often the cars were Hondas or Acuras that mowed them over.
I guess you had to have been there....
All in all, we learned that teenagers are pretty stupid. Next time, maybe I'll tell you the story of the masked gunman that was recognized by a friend in the billiard - just another tale of teenaged stupidity from 6th & Alexandria.
Live. Laugh. Love.
All the Wrong Rules
When a girl says no, it usually means to try again later. At least that's how we men see it. The conversation often goes:
Me: Hi. You want to hang out sometime?
Girl: No.
Me: Are you free? Care to grab some coffee?
Girl: No, and umm.....no.
Me: What about next weekend?
Girl: No.
Me: Here, let me help you carry that.
Girl: No.
Me: You know...I'm starting to get the feeling that this isn't going anywhere.
I always manage to find myself fighting from the losing side. If you'd like to learn exactly what to do and say in order to not get the girl, I'm your man. Get your pens and notebooks. Let's start the lesson.
Rule #1 - Be Nice
There's only two things in the world that woman love to kick in the stomach: puppies and nice guys. Sure, the kick in the stomach may come in the form of coddles and giggles, but it's never too long until both the puppy and the nice guy are reduced to trailing her every step, depressingly waiting for her slightest attention, and sleeping along the foot of the bed. All we get are pats on the head when we'd prefer a good rub (that's what she said).
Solution: Guys should never say "Hi" and smile. Instead, try saying "Hey" or "Sup" with a lifted brow and a smirk. Give her enough that you noticed she's alive, and resist the urge to greet her with your usual leg-humping. Men are not cute. Puppies are cute...and we're looking for more than a belly rub.
Rule #2 - Compliment her
Yea, that's right. Nothing says "just friends" like a good old compliment from a man to a woman. Tell her she's pretty. Mention how her hair is ssthOooOOoo fabulous. Then go ahead and lock away your penis because you're not going to be using it for a while. When her friends mention how great of a guy you are, she always tells them "yea I know! I'm keeping him around just in case things don't work out with Billy, or Jason, or my sister's boyfriend's brother, or maybe even that cute bartender from that one party where we ended up wearing matching dresses, which you totally looked so much cuter in, and we got the free drinks from those creepy loser guys that said they worked for the Peace Corps...anyways, he was dreamy wasn't he?"
Solution: Insult her shoes. Keep the insults teasing and tasteful, but keep on insulting. She left the house feeling like she looked good. All of her friends were raving back and forth about how gorgeous everyone was looking in the car ride. The last thing men need is to join in on that party. Distinguish yourself from the pack, and tease her about her shoes being so small you could hang them around your rear view mirror like baby sneakers.
Rule #3 - Pay for her
What better way is there to tell a girl to step all over your heart than by starting with your wallet? Give her what she wants. Let her take your money, your time, as well as your man pride. Never has a woman been created to appreciate a man taking care of the bill. It's what's expected. Somehow, woman were lead to believe that men truly find joy in bestowing upon them our hard earned money when we men really just see it as a down payment. Paying for dinner is a nice gesture, but it ain't seductive. It keeps you friends and the bill collectors knocking.
Solution: Make her pay first. When she pays, you get control. No longer do you have to deal with the female dinner thieves, nor will you be questioning a possible second date. She'll see you again to collect on her deposit. This is your time to really make an impression. Greet her with flowers and fine dine at a romantic restaurant. Put the second date on your tab to let her know that if she gives you a little, you'll return her with a lot.
Rule #4 - Be Smart
Intelligence is attractive, but only in that "can I borrow your notes" kind of way. A vast volume of intelligence implies a lot of alone time. A lot of alone time implies a lack of coveting. And women don't want what others don't notice. If you enjoy repelling girls into the arms of other men, read a book.
Solution: None really. Just try to avoid coming off as arrogant.
Live. Laugh. Love.
How to Survive this Economy
Gas prices went down about 40%, but the economy is still in the stinker. Unemployment is estimated around 6.5% and it will go higher as companies like DHL are slashing jobs and Circuit City goes bankrupt. Whether or not you're working in these gloomy times, just use some common sense to survive as well as thrive.
Potatoes
Start cutting back on your expenses. Learn how to eat cheap and smart. Vegetables are not only healthy, they're tax free. Stick to a strict diet of baked potatoes, beans, and a few greens. You might begin to feel your knobby knees buckle as you can no longer muster the strength to support the weight of your torso, but heck...you've got a couple extra dollars in your pocket now. Who's the winner? You're the winner.
Recycle
I ain't talking cans and bottles. In California, we pay a CRV (California Redemption Value) for recyclable beverage containers. With the imposition of a CRV, recycling has no reward because you pay the $o.o5 or $0.10 upfront - you could go dumpster diving, but that'll ruin your Sunday clothes. Start recycling water. Run a bath and don't ever drain it. Invest in a fish scooper to sweep out hairs and skin flakes from the surface. I guess you could stop bathing altogether, but that's just disgusting.
Sleep
It's quite simple - If you're sleeping, you ain't spending money. Why stay awake today when your dollar only has the same purchasing power as around $0.03 in the 1980s? Dreaming is fun and it's free.
Read
There's more to reading than the nutrition facts on your box of cereal. Grab a book and learn something. Pound for pound, reading delivers the most value for your money. Stop by your local library (yes, they still exist) and pick up something from their rustic collection. Books offer a greater depth and breadth of information, and possible entertainment for the geekishly inclined, than any TV show or movie for the equivalent length of time.
Windows
Spend less time sitting in front of the window that crashes and more time in front of the one with a breeze. You'll be surprised at how interesting people can be. Observe as each passerby glances at you and then abruptly grabs their child closer for safety. Count how many neighbors shut their blinds after spotting the glare of your binoculars. Set a timer and see how long it takes for the police to come knocking at your door. Don't worry, there's no law against being creepy...just remember to put on some clothes before you answer the door.
Time
Being wasteful truly starts with wasting your time. There's plenty of material written with advice on time-management, but it all boils down to a single premise. Do at least two things at once. Sitting on the toilet is a good time to be mending the holes in your socks. The morning commute is a great opportunity to catch up reading the daily paper, especially if you're on the 5 or 405 freeways.
Pennies
Take advantage of the "take a penny, leave a penny" tray. You can even make a game of it. See how many times you can use every piece of spare change in the tray and try to beat it next time. Sometimes the "take a penny" dishes have labels on them that read "donate for [enter cause]." Pay no attention to the picture of the child with flies on his face. Donations are for the public good, and you're a member of the public also. Hook your finger through the top of the box and fish out a couple quarters. Oh yeah, a lot of businesses will mark "Tips" on some jars. Just deposit a note on time-management and compensate yourself reasonably.
All jokes aside, economies go up and down because they are essentially artificial. There's no real difference between a grocery bag and your Louis Vuitton - they both carry stuff. A $30 pair of jeans and a $200 pair both similarly cover your shame. If you find that money is tight, give a free hug. Give a compliment. Caress a cheek and tell the person how much their life means to you (assuming you're not strangers of course).
How to Deal with Rejection
Been turned down, or straight up avoided? Don't sweat...well...maybe just a little, but time heals all wounds. As the foremost expert on rejection with the scars to prove it, here's theBlueTick guide to surviving as one of the world's least desirable.
Getting rejected hurts a hell of a lot more if you couldn't see it coming.
Listen up well. Don't go off seeking full disclosure by having a "talk" if they've already been desperately distancing themselves from you. This ain't no love court. There is absolutely nothing you can say to persuade someone into being attracted to you. If you want to "talk" just to let them know how you feel, it's guaranteed that they already know - why else do you think they were avoiding you?
Here's two common signals that someone is not interested:
1. They don't ask you any questions. It sounds common sensical like making sure the emergency brake is off before hitting 80mph on the freeway, but all too often we get blinded by our own infatuation. Feeling attracted to someone clouds your senses with insecurities and jitters your nerves something awful. If they ask nothing about you, they feel nothing about you. Reality...it's tough...but check it.
2. Your mutual friend never mentions anything. A friend in the middle will ALWAYS mention an attraction. Everyone gets a thrill acting as a matchmaker. The reason why your third wheel friend has never talked about it is because there's nothing to talk about. You could send them off as a messenger on your behalf, but outsiders tend to easily spot mutual affect, or at least one-sided flirting, and will always come to you for the inside scoop. Consider it overkill to hire a friend to fight your battle. Good news comes to your door; we have to request the bad news.
5 minutes or 5 months...
Stimulating another person's loins all begins with making an impression. If you can't tickle a fancy in the first 5 minutes, your last chance is to become a regular guest star in their life for the next 5 months. The 5 minute impression involves the attractiveness of your look, stance, and small talk. In the next 5 months, your goal is to expand from the 5 minute impression through the consistency and positivity of your actions. Don't Urkel yourself with persistence bordering on nuisance. Focus on improving your own life while regularly appearing in theirs. Trust...they'll start taking notice of your smarts, ambition, great humor, and growing success. Even if the stars don't align for romancing each other, screw it. You're freaking smart and successful now - you've got options.
Follow the motto, "F@#$ it!"
All too often, our first reaction after being rejected is to spiral into a self-destructive pattern. Like a raging bull, we blindly go for the extra shot of tequila, or even worse, another pint of ice cream. Ohhh yeah...I can't tell you how many times I've seen the mascara tears dripping into the row of emptied shot glasses by the girl clambering about her broken heels and thought, "wow...sexy...I like-a-a-lot..." Ha! Even American Airlines doesn't want your carry-on baggage, so it's very unlikely anyone else would want to carry the emotional flubber extruding between your two piece. Learn to say F@#$ it! Immediately after hearing that the very thought of your naked body induces gagging reflexes off the richter scale, say F@#$ it and go on that 8 mile marathon you've been putting off.
If you must cry, cry in the shower.
Rejection can make you cry...but man...have some self-respect! Wait until you hop in the shower and turn on the warm water, THEN slap your palms on the tiled walls as you dramatically curl into fetal position while the sound of your wailing reverberates about the stall. The point is that reserving a time and a place for un-breaking your heart keeps you as the driver in control of your life. Never pander for pity.
The best revenge is massive success.
Hands down, the best way to deal with any rejection is to become massively successful. She won't go on a date with you? Hit up the bench press and get that promotion. He'll sleep with you but won't commit to a relationship? Run a few miles, get your hair done, and learn some sports facts to flirt up another guy. Take responsibility and own your life...the good and bad. You deserve all that comprises your life. Poor? You earned it by being lazy. Rich? You earned it by always doing that little more. Whether you're happy or sad, today is the result of what you did yesterday. The "luck" successful people refer to is the feeling of being blessed and fortunate for receiving big rewards from their hard work - it's not the random roll of the dice that we lazy paupers think of.
Always...always...seek to better yourself.
Dirty Talk by Rives
To make up for the seemingly unfriendly rant of my last post, here's something for fun...
Just Give Me the Candy and No One Gets Hurt....
Remember the time when it was ok to go knocking door-to-door and peddle for candy? Last year, I bought huge bags of candy in anticipation of satiating disguised little beggars' hunger for sugar, and I didn't get a single trick-or-treater! I was like, "are you telling me...I put all those razors in all those apples for nothing?"
It's a sad, untrusting, world we live in now. You would think that today's a better world to go trick-or-treating in than the sharp-cornered death trap I grew up in. We actually know where the sex offenders live in our neighborhoods now. Sure they give out the best candy...but at least kids aren't playing Russian roulette for Dum Dums.
The sheer idea of Halloween was mind-boggling as a child.
"Are you telling me that if I cover my face and knock on a couple doors, people will give me candy? Whoa, whoa...wait...so you're telling me that old man Anderson...the guy that keeps turning on the sprinklers every time I try to get my ball from his yard...the grumpy grandpa that took the air out of the tires on my BMX...he'll give me bushels of Kit-Kats and Butterfingers just as long as he can't recognize me for the night? Ma! Get my Krueger mask! Let's do this."
It was about more than eating the candy too. Only the naive 5 year old would skip through the windy evening with a pumpkin pale. Once you go pro, it was pillow case time. And you couldn't grab just any pillow case. The one you slept with could hold, what, 5 maybe 6 pounds of loot at best? This was a once in a lifetime deal! You'd NEVER get a chance to do this again (until next year). The occasion called for the king-sized, and it wasn't over until the sack was filled to the brim. Hopefully, your mom would be so impressed by the 20 pounds of sugar pillaging that she wouldn't even notice the skuffs and tatters from dragging her 100% hand-woven silk cover through the mean city streets.
Anyways, we were tough as kids. Trick-or-treating was no easy business. There were dogs, cats, and even theiving teenagers to worry about. An army costume, or little man's police uniform, wouldn't cut it. Treking through the hard blocks, you needed to protect yourself: BB guns, slingshots, water guns filled with urine, something, anything. But ohhhh no. The moms would take them away before ushering you out the door, ironically reminding us, "you be safe now." Wtf?! If you want me to be safe, give back my super soaker. It's a war zone. Now what do you expect me to do with so much candy corn and no slingshot?
The best part was coming back home to gaze upon and admire the spoils of your conquest. It was time to peel off the sticky rubber mask, take a much needed gasp of fresh air, kick off the L.A. Gears, and begin sorting the goods into piles of "eat now" and "trade later." Ahhh...nothing like a good old laffy taffy to ease away a sugar induced tummy ache.
What's it like being a kid on Halloween now? I hear sad stories of Halloween parties with soda and cupcakes. People tell me of visiting shopping malls for peppermints, or longer nights of worship at church. It's like children are growing up covered in bubble wrap. There's no risk, but there's also no reward.
I guess it could be a miracle that I've managed to survive childhood. Honestly though, there seems to be too much sheltering of children today. Maybe it's because I put forks in toasters as a child, that I don't need to be electro-shocked for depression as an adult. There might not have been a person around to tell me my bedroom was not the ideal place to set rubber bands and twisty-ties on fire, but I sure learned a lesson when my trashcan burst into uncontrollable flames. All I know is that when I'm a dad, I won't raise my kids ignorant and inexperienced in life. Even though they may get hurt on occasion, it's best to teach them how to use sound judgment rather than quiver back in fear.
Happy Halloween! =)
It amazes me how small a woman's expectations for her man can be. As if for a single moment she could get his eyes to share a gaze of inexplicable appreciation, she'd be happy.
Yet, God can be cruel. The same feeling a woman gets from lovingly nestling her head where she could follow her man's breath, we men don't feel until the other side of the bed turns cold.
There's something about a woman's eyes. We can be picking our noses while trying to decode the toaster's instruction manual, quivering between the intimidating aisles of the neighborhood Bed, Bath, and Beyond, or breaking wine glasses while crumbling under the pressure of her family's approval. And despite failing our own standards, we somehow gain the endearment of hers. It's unfortunate how easy it can be to be deceived.
Love seems to be more blinding for women than men. Women can look at a man and appreciate him for all of his potential...but the truth is that a zebra can't change his stripes (let alone fly).
Practice makes perfect. It's curious why we believe this to be true for only the better and not also the worse.
With each passing day, we learn how to get better at the things we have done. If you pass an opportunity for fear of failure, you will only become better at avoiding progress. If you regularly enjoy the irresponsibility of weekends, you will soon find yourself drinking on weekdays. And if you cheat in your present relationship, you will eventually hear yourself rationalizing your chronic infidelities.
Why do women put up with having so much less than deserved? Well...I guess it's for the same reason everyone does...afterall, a turd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
A Geek's Guide to Girls
I read a very amusing article called "A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys." It got me wondering, what about a geek's guide to girls?
You're likely a geek if you have tons of random information and an opinion on nearly everything. But much like your backed-up sexual energy, it's best not to unload it all on her at once. I know it's tough because you never seem to get the opportunity to express yourself with other human beings. Have faith. With your wealth of knowledge and endearing quirkiness, time is your friend.
If you want people to think highly of you, speak as little as possible.
The fact is that NO ONE listens. Women don't listen...they sense. And men...well...we're just dense. You already know that you're smart. You're always right anyways. It's time to take note that women mostly care about how you make them feel while you're saying something. You don't even have to really listen to their stories about their cat Mittens. Just make sure you make them feel important.
Don't just plot out the dots, connect them.
A consequence from your mostly solitary life is that you've acquired massive amounts of knowledge in a wide array of topics. Unfortunately, there's nothing interesting about constantly stating the obvious. If you're going to take her down the boardwalk of your brain, you wouldn't sporadically interject to point out "stop sign...puppy...my cat's breath smells like cat food" and expect her to thrust herself into your mouse-clicking embrace. Swooning her with the might of your intelligence requires making associations. She's never going to check your facts, but she will appreciate sharing unique moments of your life. A better way would be saying, "the last time I was at this stop sign, I saw the fluffiest puppy ever. And then all of a sudden, my cat started going berserk and climbing my face. I just remember the stench of cat food in her breath as she kept meowing in my eyeballs."
Let her...uhhh...ummm.......finish your thought.
Woman LOVE synchronicity. The idea of being on the same brain wave as another person is as romantic as romance can get. Don't be stupid and try to guess which direction the hamster's running in her head. The odds are you'll get it wrong...really, badly, majorly turned-offingly wrong. Invite her to complete a thought you were having. For two or maybe even three times in the night, pause in mid-sentence with a facial expression hinting at a search for a fill-in-the-blank. If you've won any points for the night, she'll take at least one guess as to what you're looking for. No matter what she inaccurately guesses, be amazed at her ability to complete your thought. It's a hell of a two-fer to let her be right and feel like she's in sync with you.
Approximate her personal space.
You're always aware of how close people can stand next to you before you feel uncomfortable. Well, she is too. If you inch closer and she steps back, stop. You don't have to actually touch her to make her feel violated. For women, there's a fine line between intimacy and creepy. Take measure of the empty space between as you walk side by side. An elbow distance apart means that she's only feeling friendly with you. Anything closer than the length of her forearm is good reason to believe you're winning some points.
Conan O'Brien is the sexiest man alive.
Knowing your weakness is a man's greatest strength. The breadth and depth of your intellect is a strength that few possess. Your girlish throw of a football on the other hand doesn't have to be something to be embarrassed about. Use your wit to poke fun at yourself. Keep it light and laughable. Pandering for pity doesn't get you anywhere. Confidence is a person's ability to accept their flaws, not to boast about their strengths.
Although she's the cat's pajamas, she ain't all that.
Call her stupid. But not just stupid...call her stuuupid (with a smile and upward inflection in your voice). She's got quirks just like you. No matter how gorgeous she is, she's got her insecurities. Make her feel a little bashful for being a little clumsy, or not quite up to speed. Don't brutishly belittle her in public. You only want a quirky moment between the two of you to let her know that you like her as a person, clumpy mascara and all.
I will leave you with this most important point. After learning the techniques, forget them all. There's no sure-fire way to fall in love (or get laid if that's all you're interested in). The best way to go about life is to be happy with who you are and who you are not. Never allow yourself to be the victim of other people's opinions. Be your plain-old natural self. If she's naive enough to fall for simple tricks, she's probably not worth your computer programming time.
"...by understanding how a few become great, all can become better."
There's a great article on why talent is overrated, written by Geoff Colvin. My favorite part is his ending statement, "...by understanding how a few become great, all can become better."
It's funny how we all want to be the center of attention, yet it's those around the borders that define what's in the middle.
What If....
What if dollars didn't have slave owners on them? Hmm.....
Don't forget to Vote this November!
Vote any which way you want....just keep voting. We complain about our parents' running our lives, yet we never vote to make our own rules. It's our future.
Big Day, Small Future
The US stock market just climbed the highest in a single day ever. At over 10% gains across the board, investors rallied and drove equity prices up for nearly non-stop gains in trading. This sounds like a huge positive when considered out of context, but there's a deep reality that can easily be overlooked.
Returns in the stock market are still approximately down 20% for the year. Consider this:
At the high point, the Dow Jones was around 14,000.
During last week's low, it sunk to around 8,500.
Now, it is sitting at 9,400.
TEN years ago...the Dow Jones floated around 10,000. This means that your hard-earned contributions in a passive style investment returned you nothing in the last decade. It actually lost you money; and it's a bit more than your account is stating.
What most people don't realize is that a 20% loss is NOT equal to a 20% gain. If you start with $100 and lose 20% of it, you are left with $80. If you keep that $80 invested and earn 20%, you now have a total of $96. Taking a loss on your initial investment lengthens the time you need to recoup. Every time you take a step back, you've got to take two steps forward to get anywhere. It's a fact of life that hurts more the closer you get to retirement.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Your first move towards money should be defensive. What are the safest investments? How can I protect myself from losses? The pandered philosophy is to diversify and invest broadly in stocks, bonds, commodities, and even real estate. Nearly ALL professionals will tell you that the best protection which also ensures gains is to spread your wealth around. DO NOT buy into this thinking blindly!!! I swear...it's some of the most toxic advice ever.
The diversity idea works if your worth is in the millions of dollars. I'm saying that if you were to sell everything with your name on it, was left with only straight cash, and needed to decide how to apply your money...diversifying and balancing yourself across the board is certainly the best option. The problem is that it's NOT a realistic option. Wealth is accumulated over a period of one's entire life. And the rate at which we earn money changes throughout our careers.
You start bagging groceries for $6 an hour. You later become a cashier and earn $12 an hour. After getting an education, a corporation pays you a great $60,000 salary (e.g. about $29 per hour). The option to diversify your money doesn't even become viable until most of us are in our thirties.
Wealth is a process that is built through stages. What may be great advice for one person, can be horrible advice for you. The same rules don't apply to everyone. If you double your investment of $1 million, you'd be really happy. But if Warren Buffett doubles an investment of $1 million, that's not even a single percent of his net wealth. Your thousand is Buffett's million. This is why you MUST understand what phase you are in economically. Being in debt a million dollars will get your thumbs broken something awful, but for others it's next to nothing. (Sorry for the redundancy, but it's the most important concept that is often overlooked).
Everything is relative. Your financial well-being greatly depends on your specific situation. I have NEVER heard a drop of good advice from a person that didn't inquire about my personal situation. In fact, it is unethical for someone to give you financial advice without understanding your tolerance for risk. And your risk tolerance is a consideration of BOTH your emotional attitude toward losing/gaining money AND your ending financial stability if you were to lose money. The worst unethical practice is allowing a person to take on more risk than their finances can handle. (does sub-prime mortgage ring a bell?)
We are in some very interesting financial times. I honestly believe that we will have a long recession. At the very best, it looks like the economy will see insignificant growth for some time. Anything else would likely signal unhealthy inflation, or another dangerous bubble. With unemployment a little over 6% (and speculated to rise to 10%), unemployment for new college graduates over 7%, and big losses in retirement funds, it'll take a while before we see sustainable growth. Afterall, whenever you take a step back, it takes two steps forward to make any progress.
Is there a too young to care?
Mark Twain has said that "history doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
We are in a challenging environment that echos of the Great Depression. The greatest theft of our lives didn't happen with a $700 billion dollar bailout legislation - it happened with our future. The prosperity of the young, up and coming, professionals has suffered a major heart attack at the hands of the expiring generation and no one of my age seems to care. It makes me question, at what age do we begin to care about our future?
You are lead to believe that there is pride and honor in selling yourself for monotonous labor. If you staple enough papers or answer calls with extra chipper, you are a valued member of a society that honors your life. But the moment business slows, the first action is to leave you jobless. Leaders hail soldiers as heroes and patriots, yet 1 in every 4 homeless people are veterans. It's a sad deal. Your loyalty is sold and never returned. And still, we love to point our noses above others because arbitrary seniorship was added to our title.
The truth is that you are an indentured servant. You are a slave with pay. Corporations, companies, and entrepreneurs are the machines that add value to society. The rest of us are merely the grease between the wheels.
We should be mad as hell and not take this anymore. We should be using our voice and sharing our thoughts to create a future we deem fit, rather than simply accepting the scraps our elders are leaving us with. This is supposed to be a democracy where our voice can be heard. Why do we choose to be silent and complacent with the robbery of our future?
The American system certainly does reward those with ambition. But it also punishes those stuck in the middle class. If you knew the rules of the game, you would see that working a typical 9 to 5 is among the worst of decisions.
Did you know that Social Security tax is only paid on income of up to $90,000? That's right! The rich pay LESS for the welfare of retirees than most of us.
Who's looking out for you? The person that manages your 401k? Ha! The truth is that no one is looking out for your well-being. And still, you pride yourself on filing enough papers to ensure the well-being of your boss.
If you were to invest solely in US treasuries, you can actually save a healthy amount of money for retirement with almost no risk. Has anyone ever taught you how? I doubt most of you know. Everyone just talks about their 401k or IRA, but few of us really understand the rules. A 3% annual yield on a savings bond can equal a little under a 6% annual yield in a bank savings account. But heck, you don't want to be a person...you'd rather be an associate...
Do you even know who the BEST business customer in the nation is? It's the US government. Did you honestly believe that tax dollars were all spent on salaries and fixing roads? The federal government AND the state government operate by contracting business with Joe Schmo. Best of all, the government never defaults on payments for these contracts. There's even a secondary market for these deals.
For a monetary culture, it's astonishing how little is taught in personal finance. The system doesn't teach you the fundamentals. What is taught is how to obey orders (whether it's in a classroom or anywhere else). Our parents were once able to provide for a family with a high school education. How far has your bachelor's degree gotten you? The unemployment rate for new graduates is over 7%, and the number of graduates whose work dramatically undervalues their education is speculated to be very significant. Unless you rank among the top 10% of your class, it might not make financial sense to expand your education before beginning your career.
It's unfortunate how near-sighted our values often are. Ben Franklin has said that "they who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." The power of his words ring more clear with recent events.
Too often are we quick to act petty when there are pennies left on the table. If only we realized that competition is global, maybe there would be less deceit and more cooperation among neighbors.
America does not want a nation of employees. America loves entrepreneurship and ambition. The American dream is to create your life the way you want it. The dream was to assemble with those of similar ambitions and prosper through cooperation. Why have we been lead to believe that we deserve less?
Zeitgeist: Addendum
It's a Scary November
When you pick a beauty queen, you get beauty pageant answers. The fact that McCain decided to have Sarah Palin as his vice presidential running mate makes me question the quality and care behind his decisions. How deeply and thoroughly does McCain evaluate situations before making major decisions that can have global consequences? We are in the greatest economic crisis since the 1930s, and the right wing of the race has openly admitted to not understanding economics. There seems to be an increasing lack of talent in Washington...
The Economist: America not quite at its best
NOTE - The Economist is not known to be a left-wing, liberal, publication...and still, even they recognize that McCain is slinging mud.
America not quite at its best
From The Economist print edition
The election has taken a nasty turn. This is mainly the Republicans’ fault
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AS RECENTLY as a few months ago, it seemed possible to hope that this year’s presidential election would be a civilised affair. Barack Obama and John McCain both represent much that is best about their respective parties. Mr Obama is intelligent, inspiring and appears by instinct to be a consensus-seeking pragmatist. John McCain has always stood for limited, principled government, and has distanced himself throughout his career from the religious ideologues that have warped Republicanism. An intelligent debate about issues of the utmost importance—how America should rebuild its standing in the world, how more Americans could share in the proceeds of growth—seemed an attainable proposition.
It doesn’t seem so now. In the past two weeks, while banks have tottered and markets reeled, the contending Democrats and Republicans have squabbled and lied rather than debated. Mr McCain’s team has been nastier, accusing Mr Obama of sexism for calling the Republican vice-presidential candidate a pig, when he clearly did no such thing. Much nastier has been the assertion that Mr Obama once backed a bill that would give kindergarten children comprehensive sex education. Again, this was a distortion: the bill Mr Obama backed provided for age-appropriate sex education, and was intended to protect children from sex offenders.
These kinds of slurs seem much more personal, and therefore unpleasant, than the more routine distortions seen on both sides. Team McCain accuses Mr Obama of planning to raise taxes for middle-income Americans (in fact, the Democrat’s plan raises them only for those earning more than $250,000); Mr Obama claims Mr McCain wants to fight in Iraq for 100 years (when the Republican merely agreed that he would gladly keep bases there for that long to help preserve the peace, as in Germany) and caricatures him far too readily as a Bush toady (when Mr McCain’s record as an independent senator has been anything but that).
The decision to descend into tactics such as the kindergarten slur shows that America is back in the territory of the “culture wars”, where the battle will be less about policy than about values and moral character. That is partly because Mr Obama’s campaign, perhaps foolishly, chose to make such a big deal of the virtues of their candidate’s character. Most people are more concerned about the alarming state of the economy than anything else; yet the Democrats spent far more time in Denver talking about Mr Obama’s family than his economic policy. The Republicans leapt in, partly because they have a candidate with a still more heroic life story; partly because economics is not Mr McCain’s strongest suit and his fiscal plan is pretty similar to Mr Bush’s; but mostly because painting Mr Obama as an arrogant, elitist, east-coast liberal is an easy way of revving up the Republican Party’s base and what Richard Nixon called the “silent majority” (see article).
The decision to play this election, like that of 2004, as a fresh instalment of the culture wars is disappointing to those who thought Mr McCain was more principled than that. By choosing Sarah Palin as his running-mate he made a cynical tryst with a party base that he has never much liked and that has never much liked him. Mr McCain’s whole candidacy rests on his assertion that these are perilous times that require a strong and experienced commander-in-chief; but he has chosen, as the person who may be a 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency, someone who demonstrably knows very little about international affairs or the economy.
What Mrs Palin does do, as a committed pro-lifer, is to ensure that the evangelical wing of the Republican party will turn out in their multitudes. Mr McCain has thus placed abortion, the most divisive cultural issue in America, at the centre of his campaign. His defenders claim that it is too big an issue to be ignored, that he has always opposed abortion, that culture wars are an inevitable part of American elections, and that it was only when he appointed Mrs Palin that the American public started to listen to him. All this is true: but the old Mr McCain, who derided the religious right as “agents of intolerance”, would not have stooped to that.
Women...I'm confused
I know I'm not supposed to understand women, but some things are just downright perplexing.
I don't believe in PMS. A woman's crabby-ness derives from simple choices that she makes without regard for it's cumulative impact. Layman's explanation goes as follows:
In a slightly different way from women judging men by their shoes, I look at a girl's feet to scale where she would rank in the bitch-o-meter. Every notch higher in fashion usually indicates a sacrifice in comfort. And the less comfortable her shoes, the crabbier she will become as the day progresses. She's snappy because she loves to keep her tootsies in a vise with diamonds. There's no chemical imbalance. It's simply pain that radiates upward from her toes to her head, and then eventually formalizes itself into degrading remarks about the size of a man's penis and sudden onsets of bedtime headaches. Cute without comfort can turn ugly fast.
I don't understand why some women wait for a guy's suggestions on a date. Women seem to make guys choose the restaurant for the date, and some even go so far as to have the guy order for them. Talk about getting off on the wrong foot. Because when the relationship turns serious, it'll be the last decisions he ever gets to make. We guys don't even find out until we're near marriage town that we won't even get to decide what we want to eat ourselves. "You can't have that...you have high blood pressure," she says. "Why do you always have to eat three chili dogs and seven beers when you know your cholesterol is high," she nags. The relation "ship" sets sail with men as the captain, but it isn't until we hit high water that we find out our wheel ain't connected to the rudder. Geez...it's no wonder why the captain chooses to go down with the ship.
As a single guy, I keep my home empty. It would only make sense that women be more attracted to the bareness of a bachelor's pad. When I get married, it's all of my stuff that's going to get thrown out anyway. I might as well live light now and intentionally leave her the closet. Yet, experience proves the contrary. I just don't get it. Somehow, this message gets lost in translation.
I guess I could be way off base with my assumptions. Its just that...it seems like women get more turned on with each discovery of possessions she can throw out the deeper she enters a man's life. Like, her life isn't fulfilled until she has completely surrounded a man with her decisions - material or not. Women pick away at men until the hole is big enough to be filled with her love. Is that what mothers teach their daughters before the wedding? Do mothers say, "Jane...you know you were a good wife if you can look back and not see a trace of the man from before this day." I guess I'll never know.
What do women do on a girls' night? Do women get together and brag about who threw away more of their man's stuff? Does the crown go to the one that can get the most pink on their guy? These are just a few of the weird questions that find their way in my head.
You can always tell the state of a relationship by the distance of a guy's sports stuff to the TV. If he's got lawn chairs and USC beer mugs in front of the TV, he's single. If the lawn chairs are outside but the remote is next to his beer on top of a Maxim, dating. If a football phone got hurled out into on-coming traffic, it's a committed relationship. And when there's a yard sale of old magazines and jerseys, someone just got married.
But all and all, it is true that a man is only as happy as his wife. Start your week right by making someone happy. And remember, if you had to eat a row of frogs, you don't start with the smallest one. =)
"We're the upscale bums."
some easy heart-filled reading...
Homeless 90210: Slumming time and the livin's easy
Associated Press Writer
Being homeless in this upper crust enclave is not exactly like living on the street in other places. There are handouts of $2,000 and bottles of Dom Perignon, lucky finds of Gucci shoes and diamond-encrusted bracelets, a chance to rub shoulders with rich and famous locals such as Mark Wahlberg and Master P, even empty houses to live in.
"This is the finest place you can be," said Isaac Young, an affable 59-year-old with a wide grin and a smooth baritone voice who has been homeless in Beverly Hills since 1992.
In this manicured community of 35,000, Rolls Royces and Lamborghinis glide around city streets, movie stars live in gated mansions and Rodeo Drive price tags provoke gasps from tourists.
But the city also features about 30 rather scruffy residents who live in parks, bus shelters and alleyways.
They're an incongruous sight amid the shows of superfluous wealth, underscoring the pervasiveness of the huge homeless population in Los Angeles County. Some 74,000 people live on the streets or in shelters, making the county the nation's capital of homelessness.
"Homelessness is just all over, even Beverly Hills," said John Joel Roberts, chief executive of Path Partners, which provides street outreach services.
But the homeless in Beverly Hills have direct access to something most street dwellers do not: rich people, who can afford to be pretty generous. They pull up in Porsches and SUVs offering trays of cooked food, designer clothing still in dry-cleaner plastic and odd jobs.
"They have a sympathetic thing for us and we're grateful for it," said a man with grizzled hair pulling a train of wheeled suitcases, an office chair and a stroller piled high with a motley bunch of items found in the trash. He would only identify himself as "Bond."
Sometimes life even imitates the 1986 movie "Down and Out in Beverly Hills," in which a homeless man (Nick Nolte) is taken in by a hoity-toity couple (Richard Dreyfuss and Bette Midler).
At a park where homeless people congregate next to the Good Shepherd Catholic Church, Young found a benefactor who is allowing him to live free for a year in an empty house in swanky Benedict Canyon.
"He said 'Here's your second chance,'" said Young, who has lived in the TWA lounge at Los Angeles International Airport and on the streets of Hollywood, where he got wrapped up in drugs and alcohol. "I couldn't believe it."
A well-off couple from Manhattan Beach who also befriended Young gave him furniture, he said.
Young, who cannot read or write but composes poetry in his head and performs it, has six more months in his Benedict Canyon abode. He still panhandles to pay for expenses — actor Wahlberg gave him new clothes — but after a lifetime as a compulsive gambler and spender, he's finally learning to save money and wants to get an apartment.
He has a good incentive. His eyes mist as he looks toward a stone park bench where he slept for a decade and promises himself it won't be another 10 years.
Those lucky breaks are one reason why George, who would not give his last name, has lived in Beverly Hills for the past 16 years. "You never know what you're going to meet," he said, noting he once got $10 from Rod Stewart.
George, a lanky man who pedals a bicycle around town and sleeps on a building roof, said paparazzi and parking valets can be a problem when he panhandles outside celebrity haunts. But being close to wealth can lead to $100 handouts, or finds such as gold jewelry, video cameras and an Armani suit.
He was so thrilled with the suit that he wore it panhandling until he noticed he wasn't doing too well.
"You have to have a certain look to get sympathy — dirty, kind of stupid, not aware," he said.
He also knows an opportunity when he sees one. For a couple months, he hung out in a vacant house, lounging by the pool drinking up the liquor he found in a cabinet until the owner walked in on him. He managed to flee.
"I was just using the facilities," George said. "I wasn't robbing no one."
That's a typical scenario, said Beverly Hills police Lt. Tony Lee, but for the most part, the homeless don't cause problems. They occasionally get arrested for petty theft or aggressive panhandling. They're usually held for 72 hours for psychiatric evaluation and fined and released if deemed harmless.
Many are mentally ill but pose no threat. The city tries to refer them to counselors, shelters or drug rehabs, but they prefer street life, city spokeswoman Cheryl Burnett said.
Bond said some homeless avoid Beverly Hills because they're turned off by the uberwealthy, who require a certain amount of deference.
"A lot of homeless don't want to be with snooty, rich people," he said. "You have to be respectful and not act like an idiot. If you're a derelict, they're going to call the cops on you. We're the upscale bums."
10 Things Millionaires Won't Tell You
i really enjoyed this article and thought that it was worth sharing. item 5 is a great note.
10 Things Millionaires Won't Tell You
By Daren Fonda
August 19, 2008
from SmartMoney.com
1. "You may think I'm rich, but I don't."
A million dollars may sound like a fortune to most people, and folks with that much cash can't complain — they're richer than 90 percent of U.S. households and earn $366,000 a year, on average, putting them in the top 1 percent of taxpayers. But the club isn't so exclusive anymore. Some 10 million households have a net worth above $1 million, excluding home equity, almost double the number in 2002. Moreover, a recent survey by Fidelity found just 8 percent of millionaires think they're "very" or "extremely" wealthy, while 19 percent don't feel rich at all. "They're worried about health care, retirement and how they'll sustain their lifestyle," says Gail Graham, a wealth-management executive at Fidelity.Indeed, many millionaires still don't have enough for exclusive luxuries, like membership at an elite golf club, which can top $300,000 a year. While $1 million was a tidy sum three decades ago, you'd need $3.6 million for the same purchasing power today. And half of all millionaires have a net worth of $2.5 million or less, according to research firm TNS. So what does it take to feel truly rich? The magic number is $23 million, according to Fidelity.
2. "I shop at Wal-Mart..."
They may not buy the 99-cent paper towels, but millionaires know what it is to be frugal. About 80 percent say they spend with a middle-class mind-set, according to a 2007 survey of high-net-worth individuals, published by American Express Publishing and the Harrison Group. That means buying luxury items on sale, hunting for bargains — even clipping coupons.Don Crane, a small-business owner in Santa Rosa, Calif., certainly sees the value of everyday saving. "We can afford just about anything," he says, adding that his net worth is over $1 million. But he and his wife both grew up on farms in the Midwest — where nothing was wasted — and his wife clips coupons to this day. In fact, most millionaires come from middle-class households, and roughly 70 percent have been wealthy for less than 15 years, according to the AmEx/Harrison survey. That said, there are plenty of millionaires who never check a price tag. "I've always wanted to live above my means because it inspired me to work harder," says Robert Kiyosaki, author of the 1997 best seller Rich Dad, Poor Dad. An entrepreneur worth millions, Kiyosaki says he doesn't even know what his house would go for today.
3. "...but I didn't get rich by skimping on lattes."
So how do you join the millionaires' club? You could buy stocks or real estate, play the slots in Vegas — or take the most common path: running your own business. That's how half of all millionaires made their money, according to the AmEx/Harrison survey. About a third had a professional practice or worked in the corporate world; only 3 percent inherited their wealth.Regardless of how they built their nest egg, virtually all millionaires "make judicious use of debt," says Russ Alan Prince, coauthor of "The Middle-Class Millionaire." They'll take out loans to build their business, avoid high-interest credit card debt and leverage their home equity to finance purchases if their cash flow doesn't cut it. Nor is their wealth tied up in their homes. Home equity represents just 11 percent of millionaires' total assets, according to TNS. "People who are serious about building wealth always want to have a mortgage," says Jim Bell, president of Bell Investment Advisors. His home is probably worth $1.5 million, he adds, but he owes $900,000 on it. "I'm in no hurry to pay it off," he says. "It's one of the few tax deductions I get."
4. "I have a concierge for everything."
That hot restaurant may be booked for months — at least when Joe Nobody calls to make reservations. But many top eateries set aside tables for celebrities and A-list clientele, and that's where the personal concierge comes in. Working for retainers that range anywhere from $25 an hour to six figures a year, these modern-day butlers have the inside track on chic restaurants, spa reservations, even an early tee time at the golf club. And good concierges will scour the planet for whatever their clients want — whether it's holy water blessed personally by the Pope, rare Mexican tequila or artisanal sausages found only in northern Spain. "For some people, the cost doesn't matter," says Yamileth Delgado, who runs Marquise Concierge and who once found those sausages for a client — 40 pounds of chorizo that went for $1,000.Concierge services now extend to medical attention as well. At the high end: For roughly $2,000 to $4,000 a month, clients can get 24-hour access to a primary-care physician who makes house calls and can facilitate admission to a hospital "without long waits in the emergency room," as one New York City service puts it.
5. "You don't get rich by being nice."
John D. Rockefeller threatened rivals with bankruptcy if they didn't sell out to his company, Standard Oil. Bill Gates was ruthless in building Microsoft into the world's largest software firm (remember Netscape?). Indeed, many millionaires privately admit they're "bastards in business," says Prince. "They aren't nice guys." Of course, the wealthy don't exactly look in the mirror and see Gordon Gekko either. Most millionaires share the values of their moderate-income parents, says Lewis Schiff, a private wealth consultant and Prince's coauthor: "Spending time with family really matters to them." Just 12 percent say that what they want most to be remembered for is their legacy in business, according to the AmEx/Harrison study.
Millionaires are also seemingly undaunted by failure. Crane, for example, now runs a successful company that screens tenants for landlords. But his first business venture, a real estate partnership, went bankrupt, costing him $20,000 — more than his house was worth at the time. "It was the most depressing time in my life, but it was the best lesson I ever learned," he says.
6. "Taxes are for little people."
Most millionaires do pay taxes. In fact, the top 1 percent of earners paid nearly 40 percent of federal income taxes in 2005 — a whopping $368 billion — according to the Internal Revenue Service. That said, the wealthy tend to derive a higher portion of their income from dividends and capital gains, which are taxed at lower rates than wages (15 percent for long-term capital gains versus 25 percent for middle-class wages). Also, high-income earners pay Social Security tax only on their first $97,500 of income.But the big savings come from owning a business and deducting everything related to it. Landlords can also depreciate their commercial properties and expenses like mortgage interest. And that's without doing any creative accounting. Then there are the tax shelters, trusts and other mechanisms the superrich use to shield their wealth. An estimated 2 million Americans have unreported accounts offshore, and income from foreign tax shelters costs the U.S. $20 billion to$40 billion a year, according to the IRS. Indeed, "an increasing number of people want to establish an offshore fund," says Vernon Jacobs, a certified public accountant in Kansas who specializes in legal foreign accounts.
7. "I was a B student."
Mom was right when she said good grades were the key to success — just not necessarily a big bank account. According to the book "The Millionaire Mind," the median college grade point average for millionaires is 2.9, and the average SAT score is 1190 — hardly Harvard material. In fact, 59 percent of millionaires attended a state college or university, according to AmEx/Harrison.When asked to list the keys to their success, millionaires rank hard work first, followed by education, determination and "treating others with respect." They also say that what they absorbed in class was less important than learning how to study and stay disciplined, says Jim Taylor, vice chairman of the Harrison Group. Granted, 48 percent of millionaires hold an advanced degree, and elite colleges do open doors to careers on Wall Street and in Silicon Valley (not to mention social connections that grease the wheels). But for every Ph.D. millionaire, there are many more who squeaked through school. Kiyosaki, for one, says the only way he survived college calculus was by "sitting near" the smart kids in class — "we cheated like crazy," he says.
8. "Like my Ferrari? It's a rental."
Why spend $3,000 on a Versace bag that'll be out of style as soon as next season when you can rent it for $175 a month? For that matter, why blow $250,000 on a Ferrari when for $25,000 it can be yours for a few weekends a year? Clubs that offer "fractional ownership" of jets have been popular for some time, and now the concept has extended to other high-end luxuries like exotic cars and fine art. How hot is the trend? More than 50 percent of millionaires say they plan to rent luxury goods within the next 12 months, according to a survey by Prince & Associates. Handbags topped the list, followed by cars, jewelry, watches and art. Online companies like Bag Borrow or Steal, for example, cater to customers who always want new designer accessories and jewelry, for prices starting at $15 a week.For Suzanne Garner, a millionaire software engineer in Santa Clara, Calif., owning a $100,000 car didn't make financial sense (she drives a Mazda Miata). Instead, Garner pays up to $30,000 in annual membership fees to Club Sportiva, a fractional-ownership car club in San Francisco that lets her take out Ferraris, Lamborghinis and other exotic vehicles on weekends. "I'm all about the car," she says. And so are other people, it seems. While stopped at a light in a Ferrari recently, Garner received a marriage proposal from a guy in a pickup truck. (She declined the offer.)
9. "Turns out money can buy happiness."
It may not be comforting to folks who aren't minting cash, but the rich really are different. "There's no group in America that's happier than the wealthy," says Taylor, of the Harrison Group. Roughly 70 percent of millionaires say that money"created" more happiness for them,he notes. Higher income also correlates with higher ratings in life satisfaction, according to a new study by economists at the Wharton School of Business. But it's not necessarily the Bentley or Manolo Blahniks that lead to bliss. "It's the freedom that money buys," says Betsey Stevenson, coauthor of the Wharton study.Concomitantly, rates of depression are lower among the wealthy, according to the Wharton study, and the rich tend to have better health than the rest of the population, says James Smith, senior labor economist at the Rand Corporation. (In fact, health and happiness are as closely correlated as wealth and happiness, Smith says.) The wealthy even seem to smile and laugh more often, according to the Wharton study, to say nothing of getting treated with more respect and eating better food. "People experience their day very differently when they have a lot of money," Stevenson says.
10. "You worry about the Joneses — I worry about keeping up with the Trumps."
Wealth may go a long way toward creating happiness, but the middle-class rich still can't afford the life of the billionaire next door — the guy who writes charity checks for $100,000 and retreats to his own private island. "What makes people happy isn't how much they're making," says Glenn Firebaugh, a sociologist at Pennsylvania State University. "It's how much they're making relative to their peers."Indeed, for all their riches, some 40 percent of millionaires fear that their standard of living will decline in retirement and that their money will run out before they die, according to Fidelity. Of course, it may not help if their lifestyle is so lavish that they're barely squeaking by on $400,000 a year. "You can always be happier with more money," says Stevenson. "There's no satiation point." But that's the trouble with keeping up with the Trumps. "Millionaires are always looking up," says Schiff, "and think it's better up there."
The Lies of the McCain Campaign
"Blizzard of Lies"
by Paul Krugman (NYTimes)
Did you hear about how Barack Obama wants to have sex education in kindergarten, and called Sarah Palin a pig? Did you hear about how Ms. Palin told Congress, “Thanks, but no thanks” when it wanted to buy Alaska a Bridge to Nowhere?
These stories have two things in common: they’re all claims recently made by the McCain campaign — and they’re all out-and-out lies.
Dishonesty is nothing new in politics. I spent much of 2000 — my first year at The Times — trying to alert readers to the blatant dishonesty of the Bush campaign’s claims about taxes, spending and Social Security.
But I can’t think of any precedent, at least in America, for the blizzard of lies since the Republican convention. The Bush campaign’s lies in 2000 were artful — you needed some grasp of arithmetic to realize that you were being conned. This year, however, the McCain campaign keeps making assertions that anyone with an Internet connection can disprove in a minute, and repeating these assertions over and over again.
Take the case of the Bridge to Nowhere, which supposedly gives Ms. Palin credentials as a reformer. Well, when campaigning for governor, Ms. Palin didn’t say “no thanks” — she was all for the bridge, even though it had already become a national scandal, insisting that she would “not allow the spinmeisters to turn this project or any other into something that’s so negative.”
Oh, and when she finally did decide to cancel the project, she didn’t righteously reject a handout from Washington: she accepted the handout, but spent it on something else. You see, long before she decided to cancel the bridge, Congress had told Alaska that it could keep the federal money originally earmarked for that project and use it elsewhere.
So the whole story of Ms. Palin’s alleged heroic stand against wasteful spending is fiction.
Or take the story of Mr. Obama’s alleged advocacy of kindergarten sex-ed. In reality, he supported legislation calling for “age and developmentally appropriate education”; in the case of young children, that would have meant guidance to help them avoid sexual predators.
And then there’s the claim that Mr. Obama’s use of the ordinary metaphor “putting lipstick on a pig” was a sexist smear, and on and on.
Why do the McCain people think they can get away with this stuff? Well, they’re probably counting on the common practice in the news media of being “balanced” at all costs. You know how it goes: If a politician says that black is white, the news report doesn’t say that he’s wrong, it reports that “some Democrats say” that he’s wrong. Or a grotesque lie from one side is paired with a trivial misstatement from the other, conveying the impression that both sides are equally dirty.
They’re probably also counting on the prevalence of horse-race reporting, so that instead of the story being “McCain campaign lies,” it becomes “Obama on defensive in face of attacks.”
Still, how upset should we be about the McCain campaign’s lies? I mean, politics ain’t beanbag, and all that.
One answer is that the muck being hurled by the McCain campaign is preventing a debate on real issues — on whether the country really wants, for example, to continue the economic policies of the last eight years.
But there’s another answer, which may be even more important: how a politician campaigns tells you a lot about how he or she would govern.
I’m not talking about the theory, often advanced as a defense of horse-race political reporting, that the skills needed to run a winning campaign are the same as those needed to run the country. The contrast between the Bush political team’s ruthless effectiveness and the heckuva job done by the Bush administration is living, breathing, bumbling, and, in the case of the emerging Interior Department scandal, coke-snorting and bed-hopping proof to the contrary.
I’m talking, instead, about the relationship between the character of a campaign and that of the administration that follows. Thus, the deceptive and dishonest 2000 Bush-Cheney campaign provided an all-too-revealing preview of things to come. In fact, my early suspicion that we were being misled about the threat from Iraq came from the way the political tactics being used to sell the war resembled the tactics that had earlier been used to sell the Bush tax cuts.
And now the team that hopes to form the next administration is running a campaign that makes Bush-Cheney 2000 look like something out of a civics class. What does that say about how that team would run the country?
What it says, I’d argue, is that the Obama campaign is wrong to suggest that a McCain-Palin administration would just be a continuation of Bush-Cheney. If the way John McCain and Sarah Palin are campaigning is any indication, it would be much, much worse.
Dinner Bills and Bathrooms
Dating can be a horrible experience. All seems to go well in the beginning. Conversations start a bit awkward, but smooth out with each passing cocktail. Then the bill comes, and *poof*, she does a ninja vanish to the bathroom. Sometimes it makes me want to walk out of the restaurant and stiff the wildebeest with the tab. Lucky for her, I was raised better.
Women need to stop reading girly magazines and cease watching chick-flicks. Those piles of crap advertise a shallow and false perception about the male species. It overgeneralizes the importance of a woman's looks and undervalues the quality of her actions. The size of a woman's breasts are not that important. Sometimes the only reason men gawk is because we're laughing at the freak show that are the titanic implants surgically sunken in her mammaries.
Huge breasts and a round ass are traits I look for in a stripper, and I don't take strippers to dinner. Make me laugh. If my jokes fail, laughingly tell me I'm not funny. For God's sake, just show a little spark of personality. Ask me a question. Criticize the bimbo in the corner. Give me something, anything, to work with. I'd rather shovel out belly lint with a rusty spoon than continue with one-sided conversations. I break bread for the company.
The stereotypes are getting out of hand. Men are not THAT shallow. Boobs, ass, and toned abs are mere bonuses. We care about those features just about as much as we care about sunroofs and seat warmers in a new car. Although some perks can be attractive, it all becomes meaningless if your engine runs weak in personality. The fun runs short while sitting in a car that doesn't go anywhere. There's just way too many refurbished singles in the market. And you can't patch a personality with Prada.
Us men like women that look good...NOT expensive. Looking good is a walk; It's a smile; It's a sincere giggle after I do something clumsy. Who are these people teaching women the false belief that expensive is what looks good? Err! Wrong! One rule of thumb is "the bigger a girl's sunglasses, the higher the maintenance." Paris Hilton is NOT hot...she's expensive. Correct your values ladies. Learn a joke or two. Don't sell yourself short, thereby becoming the victim of another person's insecurities. And stop fucking going to the bathroom whenever the bill comes. Ugh, dating is like finding a parking spot - all the good ones are taken, and the only ones left are handicapped.
They have not Served a Red America or a Blue America...
With a Spoonful of Salt...
Jerry Day offers his insight regarding mainstream media's influence on public opinion and politics.
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Bonus Video:
I.O.U.S.A. Movie Trailer
I highly recommend watching this movie. It is a documentary about the state of the U.S. economy and the national debt. Sometimes it's important to be informed, rather than always merely entertained.
How To Win Arguments
You can read books on how to win friends and influence people, but there are times when winning an argument reigns in importance. Not everyone is easily charmed. And quite honestly, most of us are not that charming. Getting people googly eyed over you is a gift. Winning an important argument is a trained skill.
Check to see if there's water in the pool before you jump in.
The key to winning an argument is to listen first. Take mental notes of what the person is saying. Don't make any assumptions, and don't make any inferences about what is being said. Feign ignorance and look for inconsistencies. It doesn't matter how smart a person is, our brains don't always cooperate with our mouths exactly the way we intended it to. Wait until you've collected a decent amount of their mistakes before you pounce because nothing feels better than crushing another person's argument with their own words.
Arguing is not fighting, it's a game of wits. It's not about who can throw the most punches. Arguing is all about waiting for that perfect pitch, and then smashing it with everything you've got. Listen carefully to what is being said to you. When you find a talking point within your range, knock it out of the park and drive that point home.
Most people fail to realize that arguing is a deconstructive process whereby at least two people take turns fragmenting ideas into their most truthful components. It is not simple fighting; you know, the type of shouting matches that typically have your girlfriend bring up every past mistake you have ever made that she was supposed to have forgiven you for but EVERY single time you happen to do something even remotely inconsiderate, she won't let go of the fact that you accidentally slept with her sister on the night of your anniversary because you were highly intoxicated and under the drunken impression that her sister was her.
Be great at what you know, and know what you don't.
Citing evidence while in an argument is critical to success. But be aware of your area of expertise. People that often get frustrated and lose arguments do so because they refuse to acknowledge topics and fields that they are not very familiar with. Show that you can't invalidate their claims, but only because you don't know enough about the subject. The inability to prove a claim false does not logically make it true. There is no "I'm right because you don't know" victory when it comes to arguing with adults.
Take command of the conversation by citing from your circle of competence. If someone else counters with evidence from their area of expertise, don't be a jackass and pretend like you know better than the expert. Saying that you don't know is perfectly fine. Heck, even former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales slimed away from a world of hurt with the "I can't recall" excuse. Stick with what you know because sometimes avoiding a loss is the same as winning.
All rise for the sultan of spin!
The spin is a pure art form and not to be attempted by newbies. Proper spinning of an argument requires a well-balanced mix of communicative density and mildly skewed perception. The best way to get a grasp of what I'm talking about is to watch the movie "Thank You for Smoking." Some may call the main character a slimebag, I call him a hero. He's a master of logic and an artisan of argument.
Successful and effective spinning takes advantage of common logical fallacies. It's the conclusions drawn that sound true, but are actually logically incorrect. Exploiting these logical fallacies that most people make is a dangerous weapon, and the effective execution of such an exploit can take a lifetime to master. Like the saying goes, the master artist must first learn all of the techniques and then forget them. Just know that you don't always have to attack the argument directly. Making someone else look wrong is often enough to make yourself look right.
It's true...less is more.
Once again, the biggest point about winning arguments is to speak as little as possible. If you only had 10 seconds to respond and then forever hold your peace, I bet that you'd be more mindful of your words and response. A secret about communication is that it's nearly impossible for a speaker to accurately recall their own words. Humans simply can't talk and listen to ourselves at the same time. That's why everyone is always telling you that you said something you can't remember. We gain power when we listen, and then we exercise power when we speak. Too often, people try to exercise power that they haven't earned and so they fail in winning friends and arguments, and influencing people. This is why you hate your boss. We give respect when we feel like we've been heard. And those worth respecting are but dwarfs standing on the shoulder of giants.
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