How to Deal with Rejection

Been turned down, or straight up avoided? Don't sweat...well...maybe just a little, but time heals all wounds. As the foremost expert on rejection with the scars to prove it, here's theBlueTick guide to surviving as one of the world's least desirable.

Getting rejected hurts a hell of a lot more if you couldn't see it coming.

Listen up well. Don't go off seeking full disclosure by having a "talk" if they've already been desperately distancing themselves from you. This ain't no love court. There is absolutely nothing you can say to persuade someone into being attracted to you. If you want to "talk" just to let them know how you feel, it's guaranteed that they already know - why else do you think they were avoiding you?

Here's two common signals that someone is not interested:
1. They don't ask you any questions. It sounds common sensical like making sure the emergency brake is off before hitting 80mph on the freeway, but all too often we get blinded by our own infatuation. Feeling attracted to someone clouds your senses with insecurities and jitters your nerves something awful. If they ask nothing about you, they feel nothing about you. Reality...it's tough...but check it.
2. Your mutual friend never mentions anything. A friend in the middle will ALWAYS mention an attraction. Everyone gets a thrill acting as a matchmaker. The reason why your third wheel friend has never talked about it is because there's nothing to talk about. You could send them off as a messenger on your behalf, but outsiders tend to easily spot mutual affect, or at least one-sided flirting, and will always come to you for the inside scoop. Consider it overkill to hire a friend to fight your battle. Good news comes to your door; we have to request the bad news.

5 minutes or 5 months...

Stimulating another person's loins all begins with making an impression. If you can't tickle a fancy in the first 5 minutes, your last chance is to become a regular guest star in their life for the next 5 months. The 5 minute impression involves the attractiveness of your look, stance, and small talk. In the next 5 months, your goal is to expand from the 5 minute impression through the consistency and positivity of your actions. Don't Urkel yourself with persistence bordering on nuisance. Focus on improving your own life while regularly appearing in theirs. Trust...they'll start taking notice of your smarts, ambition, great humor, and growing success. Even if the stars don't align for romancing each other, screw it. You're freaking smart and successful now - you've got options.

Follow the motto, "F@#$ it!"

All too often, our first reaction after being rejected is to spiral into a self-destructive pattern. Like a raging bull, we blindly go for the extra shot of tequila, or even worse, another pint of ice cream. Ohhh yeah...I can't tell you how many times I've seen the mascara tears dripping into the row of emptied shot glasses by the girl clambering about her broken heels and thought, "wow...sexy...I like-a-a-lot..." Ha! Even American Airlines doesn't want your carry-on baggage, so it's very unlikely anyone else would want to carry the emotional flubber extruding between your two piece. Learn to say F@#$ it! Immediately after hearing that the very thought of your naked body induces gagging reflexes off the richter scale, say F@#$ it and go on that 8 mile marathon you've been putting off.

If you must cry, cry in the shower.

Rejection can make you cry...but man...have some self-respect! Wait until you hop in the shower and turn on the warm water, THEN slap your palms on the tiled walls as you dramatically curl into fetal position while the sound of your wailing reverberates about the stall. The point is that reserving a time and a place for un-breaking your heart keeps you as the driver in control of your life. Never pander for pity.

The best revenge is massive success.

Hands down, the best way to deal with any rejection is to become massively successful. She won't go on a date with you? Hit up the bench press and get that promotion. He'll sleep with you but won't commit to a relationship? Run a few miles, get your hair done, and learn some sports facts to flirt up another guy. Take responsibility and own your life...the good and bad. You deserve all that comprises your life. Poor? You earned it by being lazy. Rich? You earned it by always doing that little more. Whether you're happy or sad, today is the result of what you did yesterday. The "luck" successful people refer to is the feeling of being blessed and fortunate for receiving big rewards from their hard work - it's not the random roll of the dice that we lazy paupers think of.

Always...always...seek to better yourself.