How to Survive this Economy

Gas prices went down about 40%, but the economy is still in the stinker. Unemployment is estimated around 6.5% and it will go higher as companies like DHL are slashing jobs and Circuit City goes bankrupt. Whether or not you're working in these gloomy times, just use some common sense to survive as well as thrive.

Potatoes

Start cutting back on your expenses. Learn how to eat cheap and smart. Vegetables are not only healthy, they're tax free. Stick to a strict diet of baked potatoes, beans, and a few greens. You might begin to feel your knobby knees buckle as you can no longer muster the strength to support the weight of your torso, but heck...you've got a couple extra dollars in your pocket now. Who's the winner? You're the winner.

Recycle

I ain't talking cans and bottles. In California, we pay a CRV (California Redemption Value) for recyclable beverage containers. With the imposition of a CRV, recycling has no reward because you pay the $o.o5 or $0.10 upfront - you could go dumpster diving, but that'll ruin your Sunday clothes. Start recycling water. Run a bath and don't ever drain it. Invest in a fish scooper to sweep out hairs and skin flakes from the surface. I guess you could stop bathing altogether, but that's just disgusting.

Sleep

It's quite simple - If you're sleeping, you ain't spending money. Why stay awake today when your dollar only has the same purchasing power as around $0.03 in the 1980s? Dreaming is fun and it's free.

Read

There's more to reading than the nutrition facts on your box of cereal. Grab a book and learn something. Pound for pound, reading delivers the most value for your money. Stop by your local library (yes, they still exist) and pick up something from their rustic collection. Books offer a greater depth and breadth of information, and possible entertainment for the geekishly inclined, than any TV show or movie for the equivalent length of time.

Windows

Spend less time sitting in front of the window that crashes and more time in front of the one with a breeze. You'll be surprised at how interesting people can be. Observe as each passerby glances at you and then abruptly grabs their child closer for safety. Count how many neighbors shut their blinds after spotting the glare of your binoculars. Set a timer and see how long it takes for the police to come knocking at your door. Don't worry, there's no law against being creepy...just remember to put on some clothes before you answer the door.

Time

Being wasteful truly starts with wasting your time. There's plenty of material written with advice on time-management, but it all boils down to a single premise. Do at least two things at once. Sitting on the toilet is a good time to be mending the holes in your socks. The morning commute is a great opportunity to catch up reading the daily paper, especially if you're on the 5 or 405 freeways.

Pennies

Take advantage of the "take a penny, leave a penny" tray. You can even make a game of it. See how many times you can use every piece of spare change in the tray and try to beat it next time. Sometimes the "take a penny" dishes have labels on them that read "donate for [enter cause]." Pay no attention to the picture of the child with flies on his face. Donations are for the public good, and you're a member of the public also. Hook your finger through the top of the box and fish out a couple quarters. Oh yeah, a lot of businesses will mark "Tips" on some jars. Just deposit a note on time-management and compensate yourself reasonably.



All jokes aside, economies go up and down because they are essentially artificial. There's no real difference between a grocery bag and your Louis Vuitton - they both carry stuff. A $30 pair of jeans and a $200 pair both similarly cover your shame. If you find that money is tight, give a free hug. Give a compliment. Caress a cheek and tell the person how much their life means to you (assuming you're not strangers of course).