Tales from Beyond 6th and Alexandria

Despite having plenty more stories of teenage stupidity to divulge from this particular city block, I bring to you evidence of stupid-o-city from beyond.

I grew up a wanderer. Name a place around the SoCal area, and I've likely wasted some of my life there. Playing pool (for more than mere bragging rights) was my thing, so I traveled all around for the hustle.

Along the way, I met plenty of dumb asses. There was a group of wanna-be gangsters around the GG area. What made them such wanna-be's? Prepare for stupid:

Give an idiot a gun and wait for the Darwin award.

These guys with brains like unbaked bread dough managed to get a hold of a shotgun. According to them, the shotgun was evil because they never knew when it would fire. It could be that the gun was defective, but it's more likely that they were just too dumb to know which end was safe to hold and which end went "bang bang." Nevertheless, guns have a phenomenal ability to grow testicles on a teenager where none existed before.

With the presumed broken shotgun in hand, the band of hooligans decided to rage chaos at the most popular billiard in Garden Grove. They scrambled around the entrance shouting nonsense. Mr. Macho with the defective weapon flailed it about - feeling secure that outsiders had no idea it'd never fire. He took a step forward, and with the barrel pointed at the ground, he pumped the shotgun. Bang! Yep...it turned out to be not-so-broken afterall. A round went off, the pellets bounced off the sidewalk and peppered him in the face. It was a Dick Cheney moment, but much less dignified.

He survived with only minor injuries. The optimist in me likes to imagine that he's walking the Earth slightly smarter about gun safety. Something like, "pull trigger...gun go bang...and i before e except after c..."



More stories to come? Some feedback would be nice...