Down with Daly Now!!!

Are we there yet??? I'm ecstatic for the arrival of Conan O'Brien. I can't wait for the chance to see a seven foot giant red-headed Irishman perform monologues, skits, and interviews.

Now, concerning my arch nemesis...I've got a deep seeded disgust for Carson Daly. How the hell does this man still have his own show? How is it possible that a man with absolutely no personality can make such a fabulous living as a talk show host? If Carson Daly was a flavor in an ice cream store, he'd be ice cube. If Conan O'Brien were a tasty gellato, Carson Daly would be the frost lining the container. I'd rather watch a 24 hour live program of people licking flag poles on cold winter mornings than accidentally tune in to Carson Daly's greatest monotoned minutes.

When surrounded by the orgasmic screams of newly pubescent girls, a host can get by riding the coat strings of rising formula teen music groups. But delivering punchlines referencing current events and interviewing some of Hollywood's hottest demands a life form with at least a small drop of charisma...like, maybe a turtle.

People always say that the likes of Tiger Woods, Ray Charles, and Barack Obama inspire them as exemplary embodiments that anyone can achieve their dreams. Wrong! They make for bad examples because they're exceptionally good at what they do - they actually have talent. I look to Carson Daly as inspiration. He demonstrates that any commoner with the personality of a snail steering a go-cart can be successful. Shit...just because you aren't interesting doesn't mean you can't leech off those that are.