Are we there yet??? I'm ecstatic for the arrival of Conan O'Brien. I can't wait for the chance to see a seven foot giant red-headed Irishman perform monologues, skits, and interviews.
Now, concerning my arch nemesis...I've got a deep seeded disgust for Carson Daly. How the hell does this man still have his own show? How is it possible that a man with absolutely no personality can make such a fabulous living as a talk show host? If Carson Daly was a flavor in an ice cream store, he'd be ice cube. If Conan O'Brien were a tasty gellato, Carson Daly would be the frost lining the container. I'd rather watch a 24 hour live program of people licking flag poles on cold winter mornings than accidentally tune in to Carson Daly's greatest monotoned minutes.
When surrounded by the orgasmic screams of newly pubescent girls, a host can get by riding the coat strings of rising formula teen music groups. But delivering punchlines referencing current events and interviewing some of Hollywood's hottest demands a life form with at least a small drop of charisma...like, maybe a turtle.
People always say that the likes of Tiger Woods, Ray Charles, and Barack Obama inspire them as exemplary embodiments that anyone can achieve their dreams. Wrong! They make for bad examples because they're exceptionally good at what they do - they actually have talent. I look to Carson Daly as inspiration. He demonstrates that any commoner with the personality of a snail steering a go-cart can be successful. Shit...just because you aren't interesting doesn't mean you can't leech off those that are.
Down with Daly Now!!!
Saturday Afternoon Update
Ok...turns out that I didn't stay home for long last night.
I met up with friends for a late night drinking and singing session in K-Town. After stumbling out of the NRB, I hopped in the passenger seat of my own car to be driven home by a more sober friend. He backed my car into a dumpster.
My Honda Maserati has seen better days...just another interesting night for the memory books. =)
Home on a Friday Night and Not Getting Younger
I started off tired and feeling reclusive, so I stayed home this Friday night. What the hell was I thinking? Severe economic recession or not, I ain't getting any younger....
Maybe I Should be an Asshole...
For at least most of the definition, I'm a nice guy. It's not in that "he's...ummm...nice..." kind of way that girls use to euphemistically describe someone of unoffensive, passive, timid, and over-accommodating character. I'm just really laid back. I emit the allure of a pot-smoker easily slouching into the most comfortable corner of a couch that has seen better days. And sometimes, it fucking sucks.
The single word most often used to describe me is "cool." "Hey, you know John? He's a cool guy." "John's pretty cool." "Ya kno bro...you're a cool guy." I highly doubt everyone uses "cool" to describe me as someone that wears stunner shades at night, or a charismatic soul that charms every lady in talking distance. People are more likely to see me as the kind of guy whose toilet is a recliner with a retractable plush leg rest. I'm that kind of cool.
Thus, it has become no wonder that I frequently find myself listening to other people's problems. I've always been a person called when times were tough and thoughts were heavy. It's like I've somehow laced myself with amenities that attracts those seeking a prime place to take a crap. Many sense that I'm a safe place to deposit their shit, and then flush it all away from their irritable bowels. No fuss, no muss...like I'm stain-proof.
But I'm not. I'm not stain-proof. And shit, I've got a whirl of problems of my own to deal with.
My social life is adequate. It's my love life that gets the beating. When you've been handed a reputation for always being available and accepting, the ladies only flock when they are at their lows. She calls when she's cornered by loneliness. She speaks when no one else will hear her. Suddenly, I become the end at the eye of affection...and it's all because she's feeling broken.
Although I'm flattered and humbly blessed to be sought after for support, I don't have a hero complex. I actually shy away from being heavily relied upon. Until the day that I sincerely feel mutual support for each others' complications, hearing people out can become a really heavy burden. My days of considering seminary school are long past. My complaint department ain't public no more.
Maybe I should be an asshole...like a widely read harsh critic. People tend to prod through the crowd for a chance to impress a jackass with their best face forward. We seek to win their favor. It makes us feel special.
We love to speak negatively about the pompous and pretentious. The thought that someone could be so snobbish as to walk their nose yards above the waft of wee commoners can be disconcerting. Yet, the common act is to bend for their welcoming and bask in the glory of being beside the throne. The desire is for what we can't have, and the appreciation is for having what others can't. Supply, demand, scarcity...it's simple economics.
I know the art. Appealing to desire is no rocket science. In fact, the formula is forehead slappingly simple. The problem is that the art of being charismatic plays upon group thinking and public perception. Maybe for the polygamist society a charming individual would embody the prime trait for establishing a relationship, but for those demanding exclusivity, I would think that the chivalrous would draw more attention.
The confusions of life interest me. I actually love to be found wrong, but my intuitions are too often reaffirmed. I'm a nice guy. And, I'm too stubborn to cynically paint over my stripes with a shade of donkey brown. In story, there always comes a day when nice-hood is the destination, rather than the place we end up after being denied the path to glory. I hope one day again kindness will be revered by more than those retreating from being tattered by the cruelties of romance.
- J
Kollaboration 9: The Review (ain't holding shit back)
Overall, the 9th Annual Kollaboration show was a huge success. It was entertaining with memorable moments laced throughout the show. With that established, let's get to the real mutha-fucking review...
The show opened up with a dance group called Team Millennia. Dance groups are always entertaining. Although Team Millennia was good, I'll be sooner to remember the green onions in my Thanksgiving salad before recalling anything from their routine. They took the stage and impressed me enough to check my program book. Unfortunately, I found myself spending more time interested in the pamphlet rather than the performance.
Curtains closed on the mildly warming opening act and on came an Oscar/Emmy-style introductory video. Following a journeying briefcase carried by Kollaboration's charming dog-fathers PK and Roy, the pre-recorded bit was the very welcomed first spark worth remembering largely due to one person...beautiful Moon Bloodgood. Her hilarious and down-to-earth appearance had me wishing we were old friends with an upcoming date at the nearest karaoke bar. Afterall, she can sing...well enough for an actor......."poker face...[clap]...poker face."
PK came bursting onto the stage with hard-hitting intrumentals from the under-applauded and under-appreciated talent of Peter Hong and the House Band. And in the way no other can, PK revamped today's popular tracks with rhyme after rhyme of titilating comedy lines. My one wish...I wish his mic was louder. Whoever did the sound certainly did not make it easy to clearly hear the words rapping from the host's mouth. But for those of us that were able to strain our ears, we were definitely treated to a sample platter of cool lines and funny rhymes.
Now for the guts, the meat, the core of the show...the seven competitors.
1. Kenichi Ebina - google the name and do the same on youtube because this man is pure fun for the eyes. With precise mechanical moves that put robots to shame, Kenichi set the bar high for the night by rousing the audience in a smooth "Matrix" fall and then a fluid hands-free rise to his feet.
2. Jazmin - I promised not to hold shit back, so here goes. The four sisters gave a performance the likes of which we've seen before...again, and again, and again before. Aside from giving newly pubescent boys fantasies of being the meat in a singing four sister sandwich, the magic of their moment seemed to have been left at the MTV stage. Don't get me wrong. They can sing - and a heck of a lot better than endearing Moon Bloodgood too. The problem was formula. It seemed like there was too much of the typical ingredients. For the Shrine Auditorium and a whole lot of lunch money on the line, I was expecting a little more.
3. Paul Dateh - Coooool. As we are too often safely fed from the same recipe of what music ought to be, Paul Dateh was a cool breeze of fresh sound. He showed the Kollaboration audience that music is more than what's on the radio...it's about feeling something. While everyone else was busy looking right, Paul Dateh boldly showed that there was something great at the left. My favorite aspect was that the spot wasn't about just Violin/Vocalist Paul - he shared the stage with his fellow talented friends DJ Inka One and Guitarist Ken Belcher.
4. Kina Grannis - ahhh, the youtube cutie... She's quite the charmer, but I found myself feeling like I was watching her via youtube rather than live with 6,000 friends. Where was the eye contact? Kina can sing. She can play guitar. And she's freaking cute. But she performed like she was alone in her room with a camera, and got me feeling like an adoring fan peering through her bedroom window.
5. Lilybeth Evardome - If there was an underdog competitor at Kollaboration, Lilybeth was absolutely it. She was the night's least popular with a cheering section made up of only the students from her day job. Although her name was tucked in the shadows throughout the promotions for the show, Lilybeth Evardome belted out vocals that demanded everyone take notice. Unfortunately, like the talents of American Idol that are often honored yet rarely advanced, she was clearly performing at the wrong show. Kollaboration doesn't exactly attract many wine connoisseurs after all.
6. Jane Lui – Blessed with my favorite vocals of the night, there’s just something about Jane Lui that says she’s the real thing. The texture of her voice comes with a soothing touch. Like a mother comforting you at night, the way Jane sings simply feels warm and good. The only criticism I have is that I didn’t understand her song. The entire performance started at a position and stayed there. Despite hitting the high notes near the end of her performance, there was absolutely no feeling of climax or even resolution. She teased us. Even if it was intentional, I was left feeling disappointed rather than yearning.
7. David Choi – When I close my eyes, I can imagine people hanging out to the sounds of David Choi on the radio. His youtube love song is fun, light, and catchy. It’s hard not to enjoy David’s pleasantly raspy vocals over an easy-going track. And to keep the enjoyment going, I had to keep my eyes closed because he put out zero stage presence. He sang well with his own accompanying guitar playing, but the fear of performing in front of thousands of people was the toilet paper tail he knew he walked into class with. Granted it was his second live performance ever, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. If he ever learns how to connect with his audience instead of merely singing into the stage lights, David Choi could very well become a household name.
And not to forget…
Kollaboration’s special guest performances have always been what made the show unique and incredibly entertaining. This year set a whole new bar. Norman the Magician deceived and humored us with bowling balls and Pringles cans. Fanny Pak and Kaba Modern danced with the flare and precision we’ve come to expect of America’s Best Dance Crews. And even though international superstar BoA closed the night as the headliner, Comedian Jo Koy was the one that truly stole the show. BoA’s performance was 6ft below what I’d expect from a professional of her caliber. She came on stage dead without much effort of hiding her lack of enthusiasm for the show. BoA sang and danced like she was there to claim a paycheck…burying any hopes of charming my adoration and broadening her fan-base.
Again, overall the show was spectacular. Kollaboration has become an event to look forward to every year for those in the audience and those behind the scenes. It’s hard to fully describe because the show is so dynamic and constantly evolving. The single premise is to Empower through Entertainment by finding the best talents every year.
Kollaboration 9: WOWzers
The 9th Annual Kollaboration was a massive success! With a completely sold out audience of over 6,000 people at the Shrine Auditorium, the energy level was to the roof and never came down. Updates with images and videos will be coming soon.
Why I'm Arrogant...
ar⋅ro⋅gant [ar-uh-guhnt] - adj. Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or unwarranted self-importance
I don't believe that I have importance in the world. There's little, if any, evidence that my life is contributing any value to society.
There's a guiding rule in proper logic stating that one does not falsify an idea, or argument, by attacking the character of the speaker. Regardless of this fundamental truth, history shows that people do not care to make this distinction. We live based on our beliefs...not on truths.
My arrogance comes from the difference between personal belief and public perception. I don't believe I have any self-worth. It's not my intention to display any self-importance. But, it's not my thoughts that matter. The point is that others perceive that I may be believing myself to be grander than their knowledge of me warrants. Thus, my best response would be asking myself "what can I do differently?"
Who's the Boss?
:D
The Pool of Doom!!!
My childhood home had a swimming pool in the backyard. I swam nearly everyday (even at times when the winter winds advised otherwise). It got monotonous. Especially for the easily jaded like me, swimming laps can get bland and have you search for new activities as your fingers get pruney.
So, the day finally came where I thought "duuuudee...you know the plastic tarp covering the pool??? What if I jumped into it?" Of course, my third grade vonacular called the tarp the "huge blue plastic thingy on the pool," but I digress. Anyways, I jumped in. And then the lessons in physics and survival began.
It kind of turns out that the surrounding water creates pressure that suctions the plastic tarp around your body...mummifying and vaccuum-sealing the freshness of a soon to be corpse as you sink to the bottom of the 8ft deep end. Your arms get locked to your sides. Your legs become bandaged together. It ain't a good situation to be very un-fishlike.
I slowly sank with terrifying helplessness. As the level of water acquainted the bottom of my chin, I took a last gasp for air and succumbed to the huge blue plastic thingy on the pool enwrapping my head. Before I could claim a decade of life on planet earth, it looked as though this blue planet was going to naturally select me for the Darwin award.
The arguable good news is that, after a significant portion of the tarp draws beneath the water surface, the tension starts to loosen. When my 60lb body bottomed in the deep end, enough slack was created for me to wriggle and wry away from the ominous light at the end of the tunnel. Nearly short on breath, I frantically rushed back to the surface and broke out of the water with a dramatic slow-motioned moment of triumph as seen in the movies.
Man...talk about an experience... With the rush of surviving near death surging through my appreciative warm body, I knew that there was only one thing to do...do it again.
The Call to Leadership
I have no desire to become a leader. I'm critical, analytical, an observer, and introspective...thus, I write. Being amongst those that do aspire for leadership though gets me thinking...
Every single person that has taken a stand and voiced their position publicly has received scrutiny. Even as a modestly read writer, I have heard my share of people's opinions. It's never easy. Opposing and unexpected reactions can cut deep, thus the test of a leader is how well they manage through their reception.
Considering greatness, we can see that leaders are careful to make the distinction between a different perspective regarding an issue and attacks on their character. An example can be seen in President Obama's approach to criticisms. Time and time again, I have seen President Obama carefully separate other people's comments from his political policies and who he is as a person. The entire campaign he ran on emphasized that the opposition was weak at criticizing his economic policies, therefore they were focusing attention on his character. Despite the often effective manipulation of reasoning, President Obama successfully showed America that working towards discrediting the person does nothing to discredit the argument, the issue, the policy, the idea.
The call to leadership comes from an intense desire to change the status quo. The test of leadership comes from the actions a person takes while being under uncomfortable circumstances. It takes more than a sincere desire to be a positive influence. One must walk through the fire and pass the test to earn the right of followers.
A saddening observation is that too many of us pride ourselves on how well we cope with scrutiny after the fact, rather than the actual importance of how well we act during the moments we are being scrutinized. We tell ourselves that we are strong and respectable because we brush other people off like dirt on our shoulders. But that borders too close to purposeful ignorance for comfort. I admire those that grow, evolve, and change to become the best response for which each circumstance demands. I pay no mind to the ones that disregard the difficult opinions. And, I grit my teeth as some mistake varying perspectives as complete ad hominems.
We assign blame and are quick to point fingers. It's because it's easy. We derive the term and define others as "fair weather" friends, as if true friendship is only born from the ashes of trials and tribulations. Although the ideal is romantic and well intended, judging social ties upon the after effects of negativity rides within the margins of abusive relationships. It is a walk along the edge of a well-greased cliff of insecurities for the temptation of purposefully instilling chaos is often too hard to resist. So, a leader must be wise with their relations and individuality. The greatest leaders seek to invite friends to fair weather, instead of critically punishing with judgments about others staying to weather the storm.
We are living in remarkable times. This is an age that few, if any, had ever thought they would see with their living eyes. Even beyond the breaking of racial barriers and evolving past pigeonholing stereotypes, we are of a new world of substantially networked communication. Anyone with the will has a voice. The ease to which we may be heard empowers our generation to global extents that those before us could only dream of. Although this also eases the access for receiving difficult criticisms, our privilege of infinitely vast communication signifies that we just need to grow ourselves to the next level. Thicken your skins and use the opposition as the voice for your support.
Thank you for your time reading this glimpse into the actual and non-caricatured me.
25 Random....and so, the Memes Attack
It's like a chain letter in the likes we've seen before, but for some reason this particular one is spreading like a Southern California wildfire. The success of the "25 Random Facts" note publishing is probably due to the tagging feature unique to Facebook's publishing system. Even major publishers have a finger on this pulse, with TIME magazine writers and NBC journalists publishing their takes on the list. The most astonishing development from this...
Hey!! What the hell's wrong with you? What the fuck do you think you're doing?! I'm fucking sitting here trying to write a fucking article and you're doing that??!! You're completely unprofessional! What's your fucking name?
What kind of fucking pussy ass name is that? You want me to trash your lights? HUH??!! I should take off my shoe and throw it at your fucking chimpanzee face!!! I should hide a fucking Mentos in the cap of a Diet Coke and fucking trick you into opening it because that's what you're doing to my fucking article! How many fucking times do I have to tell you to stop fucking with the lights while I'm trying to write a fucking article that most likely will never be read by anyone other than myself!! It's fucking distracting man!!
I swear...I can't work with unprofessional people around. You're a good fucking person bro, but you work like a fucking piece of shit. I'm going to my fucking trailer to continue cursing the day you chose to pursue a dream that happens to intersect with mine, and I'm not coming back until you're fucking gone!!! Bale out.
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