Job Opportunity: Only Qualified Sign Twirlers Need Apply!!!

I found this...

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/csr/1079467628.html

Looking for a fun opportunity to work part-time and outdoors? Have great energy and enthusiasm?

StorQuest Self Storage is seeking a qualified candidate to work as company Sign Twirler for our StorQuest Self Storage facility located in Sunland. We offer competitive hourly rates with a lot of growth opportunity within the company!

This is a fun position fully equipped with a StorMan costume (envision Batman but our mascot goes by StorMan) and visual advertisements for the public. You'll be working in a heavily trafficked area on main sidewalks for the duration of your shift. This is not an office desk job. A vibrant and exciting personality is a huge must!

Qualifications:
•Goal-orientated and dependable
•Tons of energy and spirit
•Self-motivated and an independent worker
•Neat appearance and friendly demeanor
•Able to stand on your feet for the duration of your shift
•Required to pass a background test

If you would like to have the opportunity to work with a growing self storage company such as ours, please email resume to sunland01@storquest.com or fax resume to 818-352-7025.

If you would like more information about the company, check out our web site at www.williamwarren.com and www.storquest.com.

Thoughts:

I didn't know that people only qualified enough to twirl signs could afford to have an internet connection...

Goal-oriented??? For reals??? They're twirling a giant plastic arrow with handles on busy street corners. If they had a habit of orienting themselves by goals, they'd be flipping burgers and not signs. Maybe StorQuest is asking for too much.

Seeing as how my car can cause more bodily injury than the stupid arrow being twirled around, I fail to see much value in doing a background check. They're not much of a threat while standing alone at intersections. What would have to be discovered in the background check to disqualify a person from twirling a sign anyways? A conviction for giant arrow induced public nudity? Hell, even if something like that got disclosed, I'd still hire them for a day and grab some headlines.

So....it's really NOT an office desk job, eh? You mean I'll never get the opportunity to twirl a desk at the office while further showcasing my vibrant and exciting personality?

Neat Appearance??? Really??? There's a dress code? I can't spin advertisements wearing my favorite nipple-exposing tank top??? If I need to keep a neat appearance, what's up with all that Batman/StorMan costume wearing sweet talk???

At least StorQuest generously offers the "competitive" hourly minimum wage.




What twit approved this job ad anyway? The description only needs to be one sentence long...

Needed: Person to twirl advertisement on sidewalk without cutting off own head.

- J