Inspiration: The Dave Eggers Effect

Dave Eggers is an acclaimed writer with his bestseller and Pulitzer Prize nomination for A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I saw this video about his tutoring centers and became inspired to expand upon his work.

If you have FaceBook, join the group 1,000,000 Strong for Education and help support better learning experiences for everyone. Let's break down the invisible barriers between education and professional life. The goal is to establish similar models for learning everywhere possible.

It's Not All Bunny's and Colored Eggs

For those that celebrate Easter, remember that it's a holiday for forgiveness. Just like how Christmas is the season for giving, Easter is a time to honor the crucifixion of a man that taught of compassion. Now is a good time to tell someone you love them.

=)

P.S. - Keep supporting the troops, and never forget 9/11.

CNN Report: Higher Price for Pizza Slice

CNNMoney has published an article discussing a more than doubling rise in the price of Gold Medal brand flour. Apparently, a Manhattan pizzeria was shocked about a $37 price tag for a sack of flour they used to pay $16 dollars for. Shiet...not exactly breaking news.

Want a similar story?

"This just in... According to reliable sources, we have received word that jumping in water will leave you wet. Los Angeles resident Jose Anderson was shocked to discover that the reflective flowing substance absorbed into his clothes, thereby making the fabric clingy and distinctly heavier."

I'm tired of mainstream media's presumption of public stupidity. A routine trip to the local market would break the news that overall prices for commodities is on the rise. Any human being with a stomach and a bank account can see that everything is getting more expensive while less money is being earned through interest bearing accounts. Hey, big news corp...stop reporting news about my backyard!

There are many more useful stories to pursue than the moronically obvious revelation of nearly $4 per gallon at the pump.

Is my brother going to die in the middle east? Who's winning the fight to preserve net neutrality? If gold is trading at over $1,000 per ounce, how secure is my paper money? Exactly how and where does the Bear Stearns' sinking ship effect our nation's financial stability? Was acquiring a Nobel Prize Al Gore's solution to remedy global warming? When the hell is Apple going to release their second iPhone?

People are still dying over a war of false circumstances. While our friends and family are being forcibly shipped overseas to "kill or be killed" in a mission to fatten the pockets of the American neoconservative elites, I hardly believe where a New York governor chooses to insert his penis is front page worthy. I'm interested only if Eliot Spitzer was the president and he was hooking it with Ivanka Trump to blackmail the Donald into building a 150 floor golden Midas replacement for the White House. Otherwise, we the public deserve quality news...not Fox News (aka Faux News).

Well, that's my rant folks. Feel free to add a rant in the comments. =)

"When the Legend Becomes Fact, Print the Legend"

Comedian Robert Wuhl hosts an outstandingly humorous and informational lecture about popular culture's transformational influence on history.

Kansas woman sat on toilet for two years

Woman's boyfriend took her food and water and regularly asked her to come out of bathroom.

From the Associated Press
March 13, 2008

Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the man finally called police.

It appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat, said Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple. The woman initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

Police declined to release the couple's names, but the boyfriend, Kory McFarren, agreed to be interviewed Wednesday by The Associated Press. He identified his girlfriend as Pam Babcock.

McFarren, 36, told investigators he took Babcock food and water and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,"' Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

McFarren told the AP that he wasn't to blame, and that it was solely Babcock's choice to remain in the bathroom.

"She is an adult; she made her own decision. It was my fault I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it," McFarren said.

Although authorities said they think Babcock was in the bathroom for two years, McFarren said he wasn't certain how long she stayed there. He said she had a phobia about leaving the room because of childhood beatings.

"It just kind of happened one day. She went in and had been in there a little while, the next time it was a little longer. Then she got it in her head she was going to stay -- like it was a safe place for her," McFarren said.

But McFarren said Babcock moved around in the bathroom during that time, bathed and changed into the clothes he brought her. He said they conversed and had an otherwise normal relationship -- except that it all happened in the bathroom.

McFarren, who works at an antique store, said he has been taking care of Babcock for the 16 years they have lived together.

McFarren called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said.

Police found Babcock clothed and sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked as if they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

McFarren said that his girlfriend has an infection in her legs that has damaged her nerves, and that she has no feeling in her legs. She may wind up in a wheelchair, he said.

Authorities said they did not know whether she was mentally or physically disabled.

The case has been the buzz of Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.

"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.

Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

The Moods of Foods: When to Eat What

Life is giving you lemons while zee 'ole stomach is grumbling. Living in the land of gluttonous abundance can make it difficult to choose what the heck to eat. When it's time to decide, let theBlueTick be your guide. Here's a half-witted list of foods to match your moods:

• You caught that liar's cheating face locking lips with your now-former bestfriend - Nothing mends a broken heart better than some ice cream. Sadly, a spoon's not big enough to fill the bankrupting withdrawal in your emotional trust. Grab yourself a ladle and drown your sorrows in a half-gallon of rocky road. Cold and crisp chocolate sprinkled with marshmallows and almonds is perfect for cooling a volcanic murderous rage into some blue somber tears.
• Your well-deserved promotion was given to that slimy brown-nosing ass kisser - The only things you'd probably want to eat are pretzels, peanuts, and the occasional pickled pig foot. Career issues usually call for heavy alcohol drinking with a medley of blasphemous rants about how you aren't getting sufficient recognition at the office, but this is an article about foods. Thus, I will only recommend alcohol's common accompanying assortment of salted snacks.
  
• The one raid you had to miss dropped the Field Marshal's Satin Vestments that would have completed your epic Raiment set - Irony just pwned you by dropping the last piece of your epic armor the one and only time you unplugged yourself from the World of Warcraft because you had to attend your stupid grandmother's stupid funeral. Now that another Night Elf's pimpled face is smiling for reaching leet status, you might as well treat yourself to some nachos. After you smoke away your glaucoma, head for 7-Eleven. Ignore stingy Akbar's nacho cheese tyranny. The machine says "free," so go wild with the squeeze cheese and chili on your round chips. Oh yea, and don't forget your 99¢ Arizona Ice Tea.
• Results came in and it's not yours - Congratulations! The blood test shows that the baby is not yours. Now is arguably one of the best times to celebrate and treat yourself to a succulent 24 ounce rib-eye steak. It's time to savor the rebirth of your life with the loss of a cow's. Enjoy one of your life's most stress relieving moments with a glass of your favorite wine and some flesh charred to medium rare perfection.

Sometimes life doesn't quite go the way you wished, but that doesn't mean you have to eat EasyMac everyday. Food should comfort you into a squishy blubberous blob of joy. Grab a big bag of potato chips and eat away your sorrows. You can always run away from your problems if you need to burn negativity's extra calories.

When Insults had Class

from "BoreMe"

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder

Dude, you're in the way.

"Yea, he's a cool guy...but sometimes he just doesn't get it."

Do you suffer from annoying little brother syndrome? Are you the type of person that always kills the mood (the sexual atmosphere established by the two other people in the room)? Sometimes a great friend can be a huge thorn in Cupid's side because they possess the innate ability to goal-tend every attempt at scoring. Here's some clues to find out where you fit in love's triangle:

1. You're in the middle and no one is talking. YO! Buy a vowel buddy 'cuz you ain't just in the middle...you're in the way. That feeling of an invisible wall blocking communication is your presence clogging the romantic pipeline of the two people at your sides. There's only space for a small circle, and you're the square that just doesn't fit. Do everyone a favor - take the hint and go to the bathroom.
2. You walk into silence. I'm not talking about walking into a quiet room. I'm talking about when you walk into "the" silence. If you get that same feeling as when daddy hits mommy at the dinner table then tells everyone to keep eating, quietly excuse yourself from the room.
3. You hear'em but can't see'em. This is no time to start a search for Carmen Sandiego. The last time you played sleuth, you found mommy and daddy wrestling under the covers. Save yourself another trauma. Leave the lights off and mind your own business.
4. You're speaking negatively about your friend. Every time you say something bad about your friend, know that you are blocking lanes in their romantic superhighway. And, speaking poorly of people you call friends does not make you look like the "good one." So, stop peeing in the pool with your negativism. You not winning doesn't give you the right to make everyone lose.
5. You're tired of mindless followers and the emptiness of their zombie-ish superficial conformist lives. No one likes a Debbie Downer, and tag...you're it. Everyone has problems, so that's why we like to get together to laugh and have fun. Check your emotional baggage at the door and join in on the laughs. Never come to a party stinking of depression.

Don't be a third wheel. Sometimes three's company, but remember that Jack Tripper didn't get much romance in the apartment. Learn to see the signs of when you're winning the race, as well as when it's time for you to take a detour.

Anyone have any great stories involving "third wheels?"

7 Suggestions for Happy Living

Success comes in two parts. It's all in how you start your day and how you end your nights.

Just like how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, creating a satisfying and fulfilling life starts with your mornings. Most of us wake up and drag our feet to the bathroom. With drowsy eyes, we brush our teeth and groan about some of the painful events we expect throughout the day. Eehh! Wrong! Here's a better way to start:

1. NEVER hit the snooze button!!! Get used to getting out of bed the first time your alarm clock rings. Every time you wake up and try to get five more minutes of sleep, your body actually becomes even more tired than it was previously. Face the facts of your day head on! Be honest with yourself and learn to sleep according to the time you need to wake up. If you need to go comatose for at least 8 hours, go to sleep by 10pm whenever you need to wake up by 6am. Sometimes, how well you shutdown determines how well you start.
2. Oxygen = Happiness. Don't just roll your fat ass out of bed and to the toilet! The moment you get out of bed, do a few warm-up exercises to get the blood flowing throughout your body. You are tired and miserable because your body drastically slowed down the flow of oxygen during sleep. Give yourself a good stretch every morning. At least sit up, get out a good yawn, and stretch your arms out as far as possible. If you're bold enough, go out for a morning jog.
3. Eat some fruit. I'm not telling you to be an idiot and start carving up a watermelon every morning. Just grab an apple or banana. Keep it simple. You can still have your coffee or Red Bull. But unlike the crash and burn of artificial energizers, simple fruits give you quick energy that lasts longer without the heavy burnout.
4. Work on what's most important. Find out what the most important item on your list is and start working on it. Finishing everything in one day doesn't matter. A better way to think about it is "if I were to die today, what is the one thing I would be sure to do?" I doubt that the first thing you'll think about is organizing the pencils on your desk, or getting back your red st-sta-stapler. Be brutally honest and get started with what's truly most important.
   
5. NEVER schedule your breaks! Beware the danger of telling yourself "I'll take a break in 10 minutes." Treat your break times as a reward. Arrange some rest after you finish a set of tasks. Instead of taking a breather every hour, step outside after you've finished adding the new cover sheet to 7 of your TPS reports.

Who you are today depends on what you did yesterday. And rest is just as important as work. I know you love your job, but we all need to unplug ourselves from the matrix. Knowing how to rest will be much appreciated by the next morning's you. Here's some tips on winding down:

1. Keep work at work. No matter how much you might love working, you need to remember that work involves exhausting your energy. Retreat to some of your hobbies to give your work engine some rest. (And no, your hobby can't be work!)
   
2. Reminisce a little. Mentally go over what you did for the day and write down some of your proud accomplishments. The point is to leave footprints of your life. You will never know how far you've come if you forget where you've been. Don't trust gratitude to your faulty memory. Leave a few reminders of what you have accomplished to be grateful for.

Life gets complicated on its own...there's no need for you to intentionally throw another wrench in the system. Keep it honest and simple.

Airborne and the $23 Million they Owe You

A law suit was settled and you may be due some money.

Airborne, Inc. has been making herbal supplements that claim to cure and protect you from the common cold. Well, these claims finally came under question. No scientific research was found validating the healing properties of Airborne's effervescent formula, and so a law suit was filed claiming false advertising.

Although the defendants do not admit to doing any wrong, the company has agreed to settle the law suit for $23.3 million and will begin seeding information about how consumers can obtain refunds. I have ingested my fair share of Airborne tablets, so I will definitely be applying for my refund. If you ever bought the fizzing germ shield before, I highly recommend you take the time to receive your rightfully due refund also.

It's always a good idea to be slightly skeptical of the claims a company markets about their product. In America, all the rules are made by big business. But we consumers can choose not to play their game. Businesses should have more fear and respect for their consumers. This is why I'm glad there are non-profit agencies like the Center for Science in the Public Interest that actively work to protect consumer rights.

It's Always Bad News...But Not Today!

There used to be a time when news reports would mostly be about cats stuck in trees and upcoming bake sales. Now all we get is bad news. Well, here's some goodness from the age of the Brady Bunch with a nice modern twist.

Whatever happened to shows like Family Matters, the Cosby Show, Facts of Life, etc? Remember the time when we would learn our family values from television? Before Tupac and CSI, there was Steve Urkel and Night Court. Sometimes I don't want to watch Jack Bauer save the world by torturing terrorists. At times, I just want to see some wholesome family comedy and be sold the occasional Jello pudding pop.