it definitely was NOT us men. we are simple creatures. when we talk, it's typically short, straight forward and to the point...like our penis. when we were hungry as cavemen, we looked down at our penis and thought "hey...if i use this for jabbing...imagine if i used a longer stick!" so we got ourselves the longest, straightest, and pointiest stick and started poking at buffaloes. this was the early beginnings of "man" technology.
so...who invented the wheel? it must have been our intelligent and beautifully curvacious women.
think about it. doesn't it all make sense now? women can go on and on about the same thing for an eternity. when women talk, the story goes round and round with ups and downs without ever reaching a destination. with women, there's no point...just like a wheel. there are no angles. and just like when a wheel gets going, there's no stopping women.
haha. sorry, i couldn't resist making this obscure analogy.
Who Invented the Wheel?
Just Thoughts on Social Profiles and More...
people's lives always look so fun and amazing on their online profiles. pictures of them in Rome...every group photo has people laughing and striking funny poses.
everyone has pictures of them having the time of their lives at parties. but reality is that after you finished spewing your lunch over the plastic palm trees, you woke up with a very suspicious rash around your genitals and a pudgy monster hugging your arm.
real life is never as we show it. we can't accept things at face value. trust me dude, she's got a penis.
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seriously people...doesn't anyone have a problem with advertising so much personal information about yourself?
i can see your childhood pictures, the home you grew up in, and even your herpes. do you really want everyone to know all of this about yourself?
it's not identity theft if you're giving it away...
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...on favorite music...
whatever the corporate giants shove into my unprotected ears. usually something with only 3 to 4 notes looped continuously over and over again...typically combined with a never-ending repetitious chorus, orus, orus, eh, eh, eh...chorus, orus, orus, eh, eh.
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...talking about favorite tv shows...
anything that follows the formula...
people + shouting = i'm watching.
people + accidents = seen it once and i'll see it twice.
people + running + police = Emmy
people + love - (pending dramatic death?) = ZZzzzZzz
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...favorite movies...
anything pre-fantastic four. if you liked that movie, let me fedex you some Huggies to help absorb your stupidity.
Jessica Alba wasn't even enough to save that movie.
a friend once told me that Jessica Alba has a hard time finding movie roles because she's too good looking. i think she has a hard time because she wears too much clothing.
this ain't the fifties. bikini's are not shocking. drop the top and eat this banana Alba!
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...favorite books...
books? what the fuck are books? <= in that classic Chappelle tone.
i don't open binded paper unless a castle blooms out from the pages, and it's unfolded marvel is worthy of drooling giggles and gleeful applause.
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seriously folks...don't you ever get tired of being mindless victims of big business control?
if your ideal life involves reading the Da Vinci Code while eating your Code a la Da Vinci breakfast flakes in your Da Vinci Coded pajamas as you turn to solve the LA Times crossword puzzle "Uncode the Da Vinci Code", then maybe you need to take a time out to go outside and let the hamster in your head do a few laps.
does anyone else ever get tired of this same boring useless shit that comes out of our gray consumer culture? you know why car sales are at an all time low? because the newest and most innovative technological revolution to automobiles was the capability to use an iPod with the stereo. car companies have either gotten lazy or stupid. if you get excited over these kinds of minor accomplishments, let me get you a helmet and a lollipop as i put extra pillows at the end of the stairwell.
i don't care about stupid award shows. do i get a fucking trophy for forgoing a healthy life of exercise and knowledge because i surrendered my freewill to your sitcom? are you telling me that i neglected my attention starved girlfriend and all i get is your acceptance speech??? everyone you thanked got paid handsomely to put that naked golden man in your botox'd palms. you want to thank the fans? how about you crack the blinds more whenever you decide to change clothes....
why should i get excited about who wins a grammy? Kanye loses every year because his music hasn't yet hit the elevators.
WAKE UP PEOPLE! live YOUR life...don't just latch on to a stranger's because they flaunt false glamor.
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people think I'M weird because i don't get excited over shoes, tv shows, or pop music. guess what? i'm not an impressionable middle school student anymore. i graduated last year and have since been able to form my own opinions. i'm not going to work all day and hate my day life just so i can wear the newly worn out threads stitched by the finest 5 year old hands 10 cents an hour could buy.
are you really satisfied with spending your whole life trying to buy the next iphone? if shoes really make you THAT happy, why the fuck do you always want to drive everywhere? "wow these shoes are great. it stays comfortable while pressing the gas."
i know what you're asking now..."so what the hell is the point of working then?" to provide a comfortable life for the ones you love. that's why you shallow self-centered audience! there's more to life than how much stuff you can add to the body God gave you. it takes a team of two to raise a family of four. one person works to put food in mouths. the other person raises and teaches the kids. the kids suck all the money, energy, and happiness out of your life until they can make the payments for your next phase in the local retirement home.
go out and love each other. (not just make love explosion on each other). take away the cars, the expensive clothes, jewelry, and ipods and we'll all be the same as recently bathed hobos.
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