Lessing Laughter

I can't remember the last time I had a good honest laugh...can you?

Everything humorous barely ekes out a chuckle. Most times, I feel like my laugh is largely forced and half faked to be socially appropriate. Where has my sense of humor gone? Has my funny bone been crippled by arthritis?

I can make myself feel warm recalling memories. I can get myself smiling remembering lighter yesterdays. But it's all too controlled. I never find myself laughing until I can't breath because of the stresses of tomorrow. I never float about grinning unreasonably because of the weight of meeting expectations. And I always walk away more guilty than satisfied from taking leisure.

If I am a man of modern times, it is no wonder why I am down in this economy.

Long Time No Write...

Wow. It's been a really long time since I've written anything. Hmmm...what to write about...

Here's a little something personal:


I've been through several hardships in life. Maybe it's because of my own trials that I have seen so many others with their own...

My childhood neighbor grew up in the messiest home I've ever seen. Along with dog poo lying on the ground, their rooms had so much garbage on the floor that I couldn't step on a single square foot of plain carpet. The family cars were fixer-uppers with spray painted bodies. But we were kids, so we didn't care as long as we found someway to play.

Later in life, I found out that their father was an alcoholic. Not the violent kind. He just couldn't stop sipping on the syzzer. He was always kind to me and even built a playhouse in the backyard for his son. Sadly, the downward spiral was inevitable. It was no surprise why so much trash collected everywhere in their home.

I don't know the details, but the family fell apart. The father left home and drank his days away. Eventually, he was found dead on a park bench. He couldn't have been over 50 years old. Tragic.


There was this girl in middle school. She always seemed happy. She had several friends and was liked by almost all the boys. Somehow, I found out that she had been molested. wtf...


When I was in high school, I met people from all over SoCal. There was a 14 year old girl that would drink and stay out all night. It didn't take long for her to tell us stories of how her father would punish her by tying her up on a chair and then beat her.


I've got millions of stories like this. I didn't read them in books. I met these people. If you wonder why I always seem so laid back and peaceful, it's because the characters that have supported the story of my life have taught me to look past the trivial. Life is far more colorful than any movie can capture in two hours. From guys that died with brain tumors to others that got their head blown off while sitting at home, you never know who you'll meet and how long they'll be around for. Don't spend too much time being angry over dishes.

Neoteny.